Thursday, February 28, 2013

My life v.s. Parenthood

I have been watching Parenthood for maybe a month during my "lunch" while the kiddos are asleep. Believe it or not I have made it to Season 3, and am between episodes at the moment. There are so many things about this show that I like and some that I stare at my netflix like what the heck. For an example, Hattie and the way she speaks to Adam and Christina. My Mom would have back handed me, and I would think about doing the same to Charli Beth. It's just unacceptable. But I do love their love for one another. How this family is all so different yet they still love and connect with one another.

While watching the show the past few days while Seth is in recovery and Amber (his daughter) is trying to figure out how to love him, it hit me hard. I actually sat down ate a few oreos with milk and cried. No lie, the oreos made me feel better. But I started thinking at the end of the episode when Seth gives Amber all of the birthday cards from the years that he missed, how nice of a gesture that is. But that pain can never be taken away, even with a gesture of such.

Most of the people that I know in real life, have heard at some point that I do not know my real Father. Just as Charli does not. Have I felt major issues about this while growing up? Yes and no.

I have tried to figure out how a man can go without seeing his children for so long, and honestly not care about them at all. I remember when I was little and thinking that my "Dad" would at least call on my birthday, but it never came. Or that when I was 4 at the park (which was the last time he came to see us)he said he would see us soon but never tried again. I have had a support system and a man to fill the role as Father. As the memories of the once upon a time suppose to be Dad faded, I have come to terms with it more and more - just as I know Charli will as she grows up.

Some poeple think it is strange that I have half brothers and sisters that I have never met. I can admit that I think it is strange too. Although, it is not my fault or theirs. If it were up to me, I would help fill the hole of the worthless man we all share as a Father. I have indeed made contact with one through Facebook. We have not met in real life, but I hope she knows that I would love to make the connection with her one day.

It truly is quiet amazing how people can be so careless. I will never understand it. When my "Dad" was in jail 30 minutes from my home for never paying child support on my sister and I. Even though I was given the option, I never went to see him.Why waste my time, even though I wonder if I look like him? Why should I try to care about a man that has never thought to care about me?

These questions will always be in my heart. I thought he had died from a tornado in his area two years ago; a man with the same name and age was killed. I called to check at the local police department to see if it was him, but after a few days they called back to let me know it was not. During that time I wondered if I would be sad, or if I would attend the funeral all while wanting to punch him.

To this day I still have no sympathy for this man. I will never forgive him for the holes he has left in our lives. I will never respect him by giving him the time of day. If I do attend his funeral when the time comes, it will be only to see what he looks like and to grieve over the fact that he was not man enough to be the man he should of been all of our lives.

So I understand where Amber is coming from. Parenthood has had this tricky way of capturing my heart. For the longest time I did not think I would like this show. But now it is making me do some soul searching of my own, and helping me figure out why I have always felt this way. So thank you to the producers and screen writers of this show. You have captured me.

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Charli Lost Her First Tooth!

We have been going through the first tooth loose woes for sometime now. All of the other kids were loosing teeth but Charli's were staying strong. I had to remind her and myself that she was late getting her teeth in. She was 11 months when her first two finally popped up.

The bottom left became wiggly, we waited for weeks it seemed like. Then finally on Thursday night with a little help it came out! She was SO proud and had to call everyone we knew!

Mrs. Tooth Fairy left her a $5 bill under her pillow. Which brought on the topic between Curtis and I of how much the Tooth Fairy should actually leave. What do you think?

My Husbands Wife

So there is this woman that is told that she needs to be a little more feminine when it comes to guns and/or protecting her babies. She has said it a million times that she has zero fear in taking the life of someone who tries to harm the ones that she loves. I personally think she is pretty cool. But what do I know? Ha! Sometimes this comes across with the approach that I never have fear while my husband is at work. Which is absolutely incorrect.

Do I have faith that he can handle a situation? Most definitely. Would I expect him to take a shot if it depended on his life, one of his brothers in blue, or someone else's? Yes. I give praise to the men who never second guess these decisions. When they do, it worries the fire out of me.

But one thing that will never change is my worry for him. When he calls just to tell me he loves us, or about a call he just experienced I feel a knot in my stomach. Not that I will go into any details but yesterday was one of those experiences. This person had no fear in taking my husbands life. Which just to be honest pisses me off to high heavens. How dare this subject be so okay with taking his life for no reason other than doing his job. Officers are not out to personally "get" people, they are there to do their job. I will just never understand our world of jack legs who think a few nights in jail is worth precious blood of our officers. Last night after helping Curtis clean uniform items up he thanked me. My only response was thank you for staying alive. It seems utterly ridiculous to say this but truly I thankful for his safety.

I stand firm in my belief of gun rights. Because I truly know that no matter what laws or what anyone says guns and other weapons will always be in the hands of crazy. For this I ask that you as mothers and wives become aware of the weapons in your home, and educate yourself. We never know the timing or place where an incident may occur. They do not always have to be on duty for someone to think they have the upper hand.

Friday, February 22, 2013

Daddy Daughter Dance 2013

There is truly nothing in the world anymore sweet than watching your daughter get fancy to go dance with her Daddy. My Mom helped with her hair - because let's just be honest she is fabulous at it and I can barely do a pony tail. We even allowed her to wear a tiny but of make up. Boy, did she think she was something.

When Curtis came in from work, she go until she was fully ready to leave. It was honestly hysterical how she had to be announced to come in. She loves for everyone to "Ooo" and "Awww" at her but what girl doesn't?! From what I was told the dance was very nice and little girls were dancing everywhere. They pretty much only stayed until after the cha cha slide then went out for dinner together.

Everyday I am thankful for the man who has come into our lives to be a wonderful Daddy to Charli Beth. I have said it a million times but I can never say it enough of how grateful I am for him and the love they share.









Thursday, February 21, 2013

Valentines Day Recap

I am a little late on this post. But what is new since Bryar Wayne arrives to our family, over 16 months ago. I wonder if I will ever get back into the swing of things? Hopefully so.

Valentines Day was extremely low key for us this year. Curtis and I did not exchange gifts and counted out weekend getaway as our gift to one another. Which I actually liked. I am not a flowers type of girl. Roses? They smell awful and I am not a fan of chocolate unless it is brownies. I know, it isn't normal...

I did make Charli and Curtis a "Book of Love Coupons." Charli's had daddy or mommy date nights, family game night, tickets to stay up late, ice cream dates, pizza nights. Curtis' obviously will not be shared. {Haha you're welcome Mom and Amanda}

Charli wanted a Valentines box this year that was a horse! Talk about work. 3 nails, 3 box, lots of tape, hot glue and some time later I fixes her up one. She worked on the box as well but pretty much this was my gift to her. Not to toot my own horn or anything but this box was a huge hit with her whole school.

I was able to help with the craft for Charli's school party. Which I worried over forever. It seems that most crafts that seem easy are really not. I learned the hard way at Halloween. But this year I found "A message in a bottle." At first I thought that mason jars would be the great thing to use but not for kids on the bus. So instead I purchased 4 packs of "limeade juice" bottles at Dollar General for $1 each. I cleaned the bottles and let them dry for days.

Next, I printed out "I love you because..." graphics. I also purchased heart stokers for decorations on the outside and used left over yarn. Each kid wrote a note to their parents or whomever they wanted., then rolled the paper up and we tied it with the yarn. Before sliding the paper into the bottle we filled it with Hershey kisses and conversations hearts. It was actually very cute!

Charli loves me because I am "budoiful" and Curtis because he is "honsome." :) She waited to give her gift until right before she left for the Daddy Daughter Dance, which I will sharing tomorrow!

Oh, and Charli received a box of chocolates from a boy who has a "crush" on her in her class. Nooooo!!!!!!













Saturday, February 16, 2013

New Adventure!

So lately babysitting has come to a holt. Not nexactly that it is going bad but I've had some leave very unexpected due to job changes. It put our family in a bind and my decision to go back to work has been a tough one. It is not what I want to do but I cannot be selfish if it comes down to the bottom. But after lots of prayers and searching for a network company to help me find a great product to share with the people that I love and also make money to help our family out, I had a family friend to call me.

She was really excited to tell me about a company that she has been with for a few years and she had been thinking of me lately. What better timing? The next night she was hosting a health and wellness presentation and another sponsor from Alabama was going to be in town as well. After meeting with them my heart just felt right. I felt like this is something that I could do and most importantly a product that my family already loves!

So my new adventure is beginning and my launch parties are beginning with Arbonne.

 
 

image from google.
 
Thankfully, I found a company that is Swiss skin care company, that serves all natural ingredients. They are botanical, and vegan approved with zero animal or by-products. Their nutrition and wellness products are also without gluten. What more could a family ask for?

image from google.

I have been using the line about (RE9) which is an anti-aging product. Little did I know I  should have started using anti-aging products years ago. I know, I am only 25 and I was shocked! I mean of course I am a hott mess 95% of the time but still I thought I had a little more time to not worry about this.
image from google.

I have been actually using the baby care products on Bryar since my Mother in Law purchased some for him a while ago.. I was baffled to know that it only takes 26 seconds for whatever we put on our skin to get into our body! Mineral oil. Have you ever watched mineral oil in action? Hello. No more harsh products that I use sometimes for him!

I am just overly excited. I hope and pray that this will be a successful line for us. I am prepared to give this my hardest efforts because I know my opportunities and dreams are endless!

Any questions about the company our want to learn more about their opportunities, please feel free to email me at paigeleana@yahoo.com

...and of course all prayers are appreciated!

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Clifford The Big Red Dog

On Tuesday, Charli Beth's school had character dress up day. They all dressed as their favorite character and had a parade around the school. If you remember, Charli was Fancy Nancy. So was every other little girl.

So this year I helped her think outside of her glitz and glam brain. It ended with a quick decision of being Clifford. So I spent $4 on pants, $4 on a shirt to match, $3.46 for a yard of fleece, and $3.97 for stuffing.

My Mother in Law the sewing genius helped me with the tail. Just watching her in auction made me want to learn how to see even more. It is officially added to my bucket list. Anyhow on Tuesday morning, as I colored in the tip of her nose with eye liner she begged me to do the rest of Clifford's face. Whhhatt? Panic! After much fuss, I gave it my best shot in hopes that she did not look silly.

She was such a ham acting like Clifford and had the best day school. They also celebrated Fat Tuesday by having a King Cake and she was the lucky winner of finding the baby in hers. The look of envy from the other kids, cracks me up in the picture. I am so glad that her teacher is kind enough to send me photos during the day!











Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Rodeo Days

This past weekend was the annual Lonestar Rodeo for Bowling Green. Charli Beth and I have been attending since she was 3. It was our yearly valentines date before I got married and I believe it is a must that we continue our tradition as a family.

Curtis being a former bull rider and bull fighter he is thankfully all about going to watch as well. This year Charli was able to go on Thursday to attend slack. While there she made friends with a precious little girl that is the granddaughter of the owner of the rodeo company. I am pretty sure that these two hit it off quickly!

Charli came home and played barrel racing until it was bed time. Then when it was finally our turn to watch the rodeo she found Miss Oralee before the show to say hi. When the how began Oralee held the flag during the introduction, barrel raced, and was able to do a few tricks in the trick riding division. Charli was officially in awe.

Bryar obviously could not sit still during the entire show. He would "moo" then climb on top of my head. I was not sure if the show would ever end due to my little monkey. But when it finally did and the expo cleared out we went over to get Oralee's autograph. She looked up as Charli, looked down and then screamed as she looked at her again. It was seriously the funniest thing. "I didn't realize it was you Charli." Charli just stood there not knowing what to think. But finally got the courage to get her autograph and her picture. They made plans to play again next year and off we went.

Charli has taken the autographs to school because she need everyone to see ER new found friend. One thing the rodeo has done for Charli this year is made her want a horse even more. Time is the only one who can tell when she will get one though!









Monday, February 11, 2013

Goodbye Monday!

Whoa. I had no idea that Mondays could kick your hind end and throw you to the crib even when "working" in home. So for starters this morning, my alarm clock did not go off. Or maybe it did?

All I know is I woke up to Gunner barking, my heart pounding and a little ones Mom on her way to the door. Ah! No my alone time in the morning was non existent. All thanks to the glitch in the alarm clock.

Then baby B woke up with a rash on his face, belly and back. It was strange and not a typical rash that I knew of. So yay another 50 or so dollars down the drain for a doctor to tell me it is hives. Which was after the assistant told me that it was "very strange looking." That was completely reassuring. Ha! But thankfully, Benadryl has cleared it up and hopefully it will not come back.

Then when I got home my house was a crazy hot mess. When I sat down for lunch, all 3 littles got up to eat. Perfect timing :)

Then I poured chicken all over the floor along with garlic while making my sweet friend Brenna dinner. Then baby B thought it would be totally cool to climb the chair, get on top of the desk and throw everything off when I was cleaning up my mess. Of course I snapped a photo before saving his life. But really the boy is a mess, an extra few seconds of him up there saved me from an extra few of hearing him scream to climb back up.

Charli and Curtis also worked on riding her bike without training wheels. After a few moments of that dramatic episode I came in to realize that I left my "dirt like" from sweeping in the floor and B had scattered it to the carpet.

After taking dinner to my friend, pto meeting and a trip to get items for a last minute craft at the school party, Mama is tired. Is it Friday yet?!

Oh, and I just realized that I forgot to eat. So obviously it's time to go load on some carbs at 10:09 p.m.
Goodbye Monday.









Saturday, February 9, 2013

Instagram Saturday!

So I am practically obsessed with Instagram along with 85% of the world. That other 15% obviously just does not have iPhones

I constantly blow up my IG feed of photos of my kids and random things. What can get better than that? This week I got some a-stinking-dorable photos of Charli Beth before school. She was grumpy but asked for her picture to be taken. Then she broke out the hip poppin' and "birthday smiles."

I hope to make the books one day to savor these cute photos! But for now here is my insta-week!





Thursday, February 7, 2013

16 Months

Bryar turned 16 months on the 5th. It does not seem like it at all. Some days I feel like he is still 8 months or even a newborn. He is still "Baby Bryar" to me. Although I am sure I will call him that for a long time. It just flows together!

He weighed 20 lbs 8 oz and was exactly 30 inches. He is my tiny but mighty boy. Well more like my wild boy. Dr. Patty could not help but to laugh at him trying to climb and go everywhere. He truly is my workout. I no longer need a gym membership. (Well, yes I do.)

He does not speak to many words but when he does I am glad he uses his manners. His favorite word is "lease" for please. The other words he may say are "hi" "d" (daddy) and possibly a few more that are not caught. He knows a cow better than most kids and can "moo.l he can also bark and knows Gunner. He has zero fear of animals. I think he will be much like all of us and love them too.

Climbing is his favorite hobby. Some days I come in from doing laundry and he is sitting on the end tables. It no longer scares me. I can only laugh now because there is no stopping him. It does really hurt his heart if I tell him he is being a "bad boy," in return it hurts my heart as well.

He loves all foods and throws his biggest fits when food is taken away from him. He wears size 3 diapers and 12-18 month clothes.

16 month shots on Tuesday were by they he worse that he has experienced. Even the 5 at 12 months were not issues like this two have been. He is cutting two more teeth, which is probably the main cause of the fussiness. This will equal 6 all together. I'm crossing my fingers that they will come through by next week.

B is really getting his own personality and having a ball learning new things. I hope he progresses much more by his next appointment at 18 months and we have new things to show Dr. Patty!



Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Karma in Parenting

In school I was considered the mean girl. Since I graduated high school and have made friends with former classmates I have heard time and time again "I really hated you in school." "Yep. That was me. The hated girl. Thank the Heaven that people can change and that I changed.

What I am not ready for is my karma. The karma of where me being the mean girl is now going to bite me where the sun does not shine and my girl is going to be the one being bullied. Charli Beth seems to be the girl that makes all kinda of friends. Which is wonderful. I love that she can make friends and pick up a new one in a heart beat. But what I do not like is the fact that her little heart is already being scorned by others. We all know that kids can be mean. Heck, girls are the worse. But does it have to start this young?

Last year in Kindergarten Curtis picked Charli up from school and she was crying her eyes out. She was put in time out after telling her friend that she was a "bad girl" when the little girl called her a dirty name. Why did she call her a bad girl? Because Daddy and I had tried convincing Charli that the little girl mentioned was not the type of friend that she needed. We did tell her that she was a bad girl and needed to find friends that would be nice to her too. Parent fail. This taught us all a lesson. But I still am not prepared for the days of bullying and mean girl fights that are ahead. Of course I am a pro at being mean back but I do not want Charli being the way that I was. I want her to always be able to hold her head high and to mend her heart with courage that new friend come along.

I do cross my fingers that this isn't starting this young. That these stories are made out to be a little more worse than they were. Girls are pros at that as well. Especially Charli since she is the girl that apologizes to me when she is feeling a little "emotional" on some days.

So far it seems that Charli Beth is doing a great job at this. I am so proud of her outgoing ways to not let it effect her entire day. But I am still not prepared to hear the stories or see the notes she writes about her day.

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Gatlinburg Weekend Trip

This weekend the hubby and I left both little ones with his Mom and headed to Gatlinburg, TN with our friends. I stressed and worried about the day and how we would all get through it. Even though I knew in my heart that all would be well. I'm just a worrier though. It is second nature to me.

Before I left I made a goodie bag for them both. My Mommy guilt sometimes overwhelms me if I am going "somewhere fun" without the kids. I know it is silly but you will only understand once you are a Mom.

The trip was so relaxing and something that we all needed. Even though I thought I would sleep a ton. I was up constantly, I suppose it is habit now. We spent a ton of time shopping and even more time eating. out.

Our cabin was very pretty and way high in the mountain between Piegon Forge and Gatliburg. The only bad thing was the slope of a driveway that went to it. Sadly, we almost flipped our new sequoia on Saturday when pulling in to the 3-4 inches of snow. Four wheel drive does nothing on a solid sheet if ice.

Curtis pulled up to the top of the drive and the next thing we know we are going down. Thankfully, we stopped but only inches from the side of the 40 ft drop off. We thought a wrecker would be the only way out but by mid morning Curtis was ready to brave it again. Then finally we were out and ready to come home! I am very sure that I heard him thank The Lord above for keeping us safe.

From what I have been told the kids were great as well! Bryar was about typical for his sleep schedule. Which is what had me the most worried. Our next over night trip in March should go much easier for us all!











Story of Mommy

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I am a sinner saved by the grace of God. A wife to the 5oh, and Mother to Charli Beth and Bryar. This is my story of Motherhood, life experiences and sometimes even my overwhelming heart all typed out. I believe in second chances, yet the firm hand of parenting. That sweet tea is of the comfort food category. Chickens belong in every backyard. Children should each have a responsibility of their own while helping take care of duties in the home. Sports are a must for our family, and we spend many nights on courts or fields. We consistently feel new to each of the experiences that are brought into our lives. But we are always excited for the journey in which God has given us.

Email Me!

--If you have any questions or just want to chat, feel free to email me! @ paigeleana@yahoo.com --

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