While the door stands closed...

Life is but a blur. At least that's what some say. Some days it's never ending, other moments go by just as quickly as they arrived. I spend my days worrying over what's next, or how I'll create that next moment worth adding to the top of the memory bank. I live for days that are simple and uncostly, as I've found they sometime cherish the most meaningful memories. Other memories are precious just for the memory making.

I love all just the same.

I've recently been wondering why things happen the way the do. Or why they do not happen.

It's a little over my pay grade as a sinful human undeserving of grace to question God's plans. Some days I understand, actually most days I do. But we all fall short and have our moments of wonders. I have them more often than I would like to say. I then find myself in the mix of a powerful moment, and could almost laugh out loud at the irony as I'm saying "ok God, I get it."

I may not have the fancy cars, a blog that is worldly known, or clothes that are perfectly stitched with brands we've all known. What I do have is two children smiling along with me most days as we create memories. A husband that knows I'm here for him when he needs to share some crazy adventure with. A mom who is a phone call away. A sister who gets my crazy messages, and my "person" who just gets me - crazy and all. 

Gods plan may not be my plan, and I'm okay with that. While I wait within this hall, I'll worship while the next door either starts to open, or barricades it's self. 

While I ask that you pray for my heart as I do not waste pain.

That while a door stands closed before me, that I find beauty in the hallways while waiting. Each door has a new adventure or memory before it. I just hope that I can relax and be willing to take it all in.

Recently, the kids and I were able to take a, "fun day" and go with my home church snow tubing at Perfect North. It's been a long time since I can recall such smiles and pure fun. I remember thinking about the perfect moments of the day, and reminding myself that these moments are all around me. Two growing children who love to laugh, smile and adventure. I couldn't be anymore thankful for just that.