I am that girl

There are certain people in life, that have things handed to them "wrongly" or not so easy as one would say, not saying that this is me. But whenever we give someone our all, we are soon shut down, broken hearted and left to pick up the pieces of the aftermath. No matter what, you must put a smile on your face and go on.It's not because we do not love this person, but because this person must not love us enough, so we become strong. Sometimes it causes you to become cold, leery or even mad at everything in general. I have always been that girl.

But...I don't want to be that girl anymore. I want to be happy, and know that one day God's plan will be accomplished and my life will feel more of an success than as a failure. I want to love and be loved by someone that knows just how amazing I am, and knows that I am worth that effort. That will never give up on me, like people consistently seem to do. I am not a girl with an easy life style, I work, I struggle, I go to school, I take care of my girl, I fall apart and I pick myself back up again. I am simply a mess, but a beautiful mess at that. I can be your everything but I can also be your worst enemy all in like five seconds. That is just who I am. But if I love you, you will know it and that will never change. I want to stop having my heart broke, crying at work while I am by myself, and looking like a walking zombie at other times.

I have been left while pregnant before, felt abandoned, cried my tears, screamed, searched and moved on with my life. Even though I do not want to, I can move on again, but it doesn't feel like it is the right thing to do?

I suppose I forgot how it felt to feel lost, unknowing of what the future may hold, and who may be there to share it with me. I forgot how it feels to be "slapped in the face" with such harsh words for no reason at all. I forgot what it was like to have someone to not care about your feelings or your child's, when all you want to do is live the life that you were given together. I forgot what it felt like to give your heart to someone you care so much about, for them to simply turn their back on you and walk away.

How can you do that? Is it a girl thing to feel so lonely and so attached to something that does not even want to be there? Because so many people have been through this, and seriously I am not someone that "has to" have a man in my life, I have my daughter and that is what I need, I just despise having my heart broken. But who doesn't? I have no idea where I am going with writing this, it is just that I want to be happy and not feel so empty like I do right now. I forgot what it was like to be walked over like I was with D, because I was happy for so long, I felt whole once again, I knew my life was exactly where it wanted and needed to be.

There is nothing in the world that can make feelings like this better except, time and prayer; they heal all. I learned this by waiting for someone for so long, wasting my time wishing, praying and hoping that they would take my hand, remember who they really were and simply love me back. I'm not going to ask someone to love me, if you don't want to then so be it. You're missing out on two girls that are amazing, beautiful, silly and worth every bit of the struggle that goes along with a relationship. Her and I with or without someone else will accomplish many extraordinary things in our journey together, and this is exactly what this blog is all about. This is not a sob story,it is the happiest and even the saddest events that we may go through. This is what you get because "I am that girl" and most of you have been broken before as well so you can relate. Although, if I don't seem like myself for a while, just know that it is time for this girl to just find herself once again.

--The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These people have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do NOT just happen.--

P.S. all prayers are appreciated.

Jackson's Orchard

This past weekend before time to trick or treat, Charli Beth and I headed to Jackson's Orchard for the day. I honestly had been planning to take her since the beginning of the month, but we have simply just been to busy with my schedule, school and everything else going on. But the day we went was simply perfect. It was on Saturday and as you can tell in the pictures, hardly anyone was there, not to mention the weather was beautiful.

As most of you already know Charli Beth is slightly obsessed with being a cowgirl. So as soon as she seen the horse rides, she knew that this was what she wanted to do first. She would have rode all day long if I had the $3 to hand out all day. She also named the horse "flash-light"...I believe the girl leading told her the horses name was Flash, and CB added in the Light part. She has a way with lying right now...which is a different post for a different day.

After seeing Charli Beth love on these bunnies, it's definitely made me want to get her one for Easter!
(Hi Mom =) I'll change my mind later..)

She wouldn't look towards me and the camera because the sun was way to bright. But I had to snap the picture anyways to compare to last years.

These play sets are new to the Orchard, and CB absolutely adores them!
Funny story: Whenever we were walking over to the truck there was some rough and rowdy boy on top of it, that growled/hollered/screamed (I'm not sure he kinda sounded like a mixture between a vampire and a coyote) at Charli so she was scared to death to go over there. I grabbed up her hand and I said, "C'mon Mommy will take you, don't be scared he is just acting silly." Charli said "No no Mommy, you can't whip his butt" - Geez. She acts like I am mean? ha.

The Cider Slider!

This picture was taken approximately 3 seconds before all of the nachos went falling to the ground. So she ate my apple bites while I went to buy more, then only ate two chips. Isn't it nice buying your children tons of food and them not ever eating it? Ugh, I gripe about that to much but at least she is a great healthy eater (salad, carrots, tomatoes). We actually ended the day after our quick snack, then headed home to get ready for Halloween...

Days 3 & 4

3.) The Freedom to Vote- Our county and our country had a wonderful turn out with out election. I am thankful that we have the freedom to vote in our country. This is just one day closer to getting Obama out of office. No negative comments needed, I have the freedom to my own opinion. CB's outfit on Monday for school the man who won Sheriff if actually her school resource officer and a great friend of mine.

4.) Salvation: This is the "old black church" (that is what the sign says) that I was saved in, sadly it is actually falling down now. I need to look on the plaque and see how old it actually is then write a post dedicated to it before it falls completely down.

Shutterfly!

To be honest I have never had the pleasure to do business with Shutterfly, although it seems like many of my blogger friends have! The quality of the pictures and how happy they are with their experience makes me even more excited about purchasing our Christmas Cards for family and friends from them! Not to mention after going through their site, seeing all of the variety they have for all families and individuals, makes me want to place my order, right now!

I love the simplicity of this Photo Card.
Seriously, I stinking love this card!!!!
How cute would it be for Charli B and I?!

I would most definitely pick this invitation if I were to have a Christmas get together!
By the way, how much fun would that it be to host a Christmas party?!

I'm not sure about you guys but all of this cold weather plus the stores already putting Christmas decor out, makes me want to start checking off things on my Christmas! So if you are feeling the same way, why don't you head on over to Shutterfly and check out the selections. Also, come back and tell me which cards that you love!

What I Wore Wednesday

It's time for another week of WIWW, hosted by The Pleated Poppy.

So, lets just go ahead and throw it out there before you girls realize that I am a crazzzy mess this week. Working 3rd shift and being busy with Halloween really did throw me for a loop. But some days I did manage to get out of my comfy clothes. I'll try better next week.

Heading to CB's Halloween party at school

Shirt: F21
Jeans: Miley *Walmart --which now I seen look way to tight!!! ahh.
Shoes: Lindsay Phillips - snap on ballets, I can change the black follower from the top.
I stole borrowed this necklace from my Mom because I absolutely love it!
I am slightly obsessed with big jewelry and owls too, so it is the perfect combo!

I cannot remember where I wore this outfit?
Cardigan: F21
Tank: Miley * Walmart

3rd shift outfitShirt: Miley* Walmart - $3!
Jeans: Seven - Tj Maxx
Necklace: CB gave it to me for Christmas

Going to school after working 3rd.
Jacket: Izod
Shirt: Kentucky Basketball =)
Pants: ?
Shoes: Shox
Kid: Me!!

Heading into 2nd shift @ 911
I have no idea where these clothes came from. I think I have had them for quite a few years now, they're just so comfy! But please do excuse the green scrubber that is laying in the floor, I forgot to pick up..whoops!

You can find my other posts here, here and here.

Crazy sock day at preschool!

We won a giveaway a few weeks ago from Kelly over at Just the two of us, and she sent me this adorable headband from her Etsy Shop, which you can find here and a gift card to Target (woohoo!!) We just love this headband, I cannot wait for CB to wear it to school this week. Kelly and her daughter are adorable you guys should check her out sometime.

Library Trick-or-Treat Parade

On Friday, I kept Charli Beth's BFF/my BFF's daughter Kaylen so we could attend the Library trick-or-treat parade; which is were you "parade" around the square to each business and the court house to get treats! I was pretty excited about this myself, but the girls were more excited to have one another to play with. Whenever Kaylen got to my house that morning the girls ate breakfast then it got wild. See the picture below for a reference...
This is whenever we first got to the Library, Kaylen ended up being a cat because 30 minutes before we left I realized that I did not have her costume, so this was the best I could come up with!

There were 90 or so children participating in this parade! I was amazed at this and I assume so was everyone else since I heard a lot of the businesses saying that they were going to be run out of candy because they thought there would only be 30-40 children!

What is up with CB's smiles? haha!
The girls were so wonderful about using their manners - "trick or treat" & "thank you"

Aww, such sweet besties!

After the parade we picked up Kaylen's Mommy from her work at South Central Bank and headed to McDonalds for lunch. We went home for nap time, which did not happen and then they played the rest of the day away! Even though it did get a little crazy for a while, we had a wonderful day together!

Day #2

Family.

Do I seriously have to explain this one to y'all? haha.
My family and I have been through thick and thin together and each thing has made us a stronger more loving family. I grew up as a daughter to the most beautiful, strong and amazing woman that you could ever ask for, that has helped me through many of life's hardest lessons. Each day, in every decision that I make for mine and Charli B's lives, they stand firmly behind me. I could not ask for anything more important or better in life.

Ghouls at Grassmere

Last Friday, Charli Beth, Mom and I headed to the Nashville zoo for their annual Halloween festivities. They close the zoo down early, put all of the animals to bed, set up 20 trick or treat stations, carnival area, hayride, and more. I have always wanted to take Charli to a Boo at the Zoo, so we randomly just got ready and left out that afternoon.We had a good time, and Charli really liked showing off her costume to everyone.

But have I mentioned that CB is kind of stuck up? Probably not, but this girl had other little ones saying "aww look at the princess" and she would just squish up her nose and look away, not giving them a Hi or Bye. Poor kiddos! We kept asking her why she wanted to act this a way to other children that were being friendly, to our response she said "I'm not a princess, I am cowgirl but they just keep calling me a princess."

Clearly, she is a cowgirl in her heart but a princess in costume... We walked around to the booths to give out candy, 20 stations - 1 piece of candy each. Nice! haha. Then we were able to ride the "scary-go-round", play games at the "carn-evil" and ride the hayride. I have to admit that unless you live in the area of Nashville, it is not worth the drive. But like I said, CB had fun and that is what counts!

I am also participating in Morgan's Mama Loves Papa link up of "30 days of Thankfulness" - each day I will post something new that I am thankful for...this could get interesting ;) baha! Link up along with her if you would like, I am sure she would love to have you!

Day #1

Best Friends.

Not that you could have been able to tell through anything on my blog but I've been going through something in the last week that has been simply, hard. Without the help from my besties there is no way in the world that I would be tearless with a smile on my face tonight. Each of these friends have helped in some journey throughout this crazy life of mine, I am stronger and better because of them. I am so very thankful for the friends that I have in my life and the ones that have already went to Heaven as well.

Today I honor a wonderful best friend of mine that is now in Heaven - Happy Birthday Jamie!
Megan, Me, Tara, Kevin (Jamie's Dad) and Jamie

Montgomery Gentry

Last Monday while dropping Charli Beth off at school I heard through the crackling of my radio the station I was listening to was asking for people to call in and guess what the second most stolen item is. Well, duh, I knew this one! I waited until they gave the # out, then it hit me that I was listening to a Nashville station?! What the...I called anyways, because who doesn't like to be a know it all?

I seriously thought that it would be busy or ring forever, but boy was I wrong. Two rings and they pick up, and our convo went a little something like this...

"995 The wolf, What do you think the answer is" - Radio dude

"Pregnancy test" - Me

"hahahaha...How do you know that?" - Radio dude / Radio girl

"I work at a police department, so I get calls on these silly people" - Me

"That is so gross! What do you think the number one item is?" -Mean Radio girl

"Condoms" - Me

..more eww and all went on after that.

"Well you won tickets to see Montgomery Gentry, Gretchen Wilson and John Rich this Sunday"

" Seriously!! yayyy....I'm sorry my radio is cutting in and out I am in Kentucky" - Me

"Oh okay...wait...ARE YOU AMISH?"

"Umm, Noo wayy!"

"

Would you date an Amish"

"haha no wayyy. " - Me (secretly I do love Amish families and their produce, but I would never ever.)

It just totally cracked me up that they labeled me as Amish since I am from Kentucky! Usually people come off with the inbred, barefoot and pregnant stereotype. The man and woman that I was speaking with, who actually I have no idea were took down my information and told me that someone from promotions would be contacting me on how to get my tickets. So I waited............and waited........and waited......until Friday morning. I figured that I would call and check to make sure that I had heard correctly and was not making plans for no reason at all. I got tossed around to promotions, promotion managers, help desk until that afternoon. It was insane. Finally, a girl told me that since I was in Kentucky and they would take my tickets with me to concert and for me to call "Scotty" as soon as I got there. So my big sister Ashley and I got dolled up and headed out Sunday afternoon, then guess who did not answer their phone....

SCOTTY!

Thankfully, after waiting what seemed like to be forever, and sweet talking the amazing Michael Hall (who ever he may be?! I believe he was a manager over The Woods at Fontanel) we got our tickets. Actually we got even better tickets than I'm sure the crappy wolf station was going to give me. We were right behind the vip section and in the middle. No big deal, but hey they were free! So we went in and started listening to the opening act, which was a terrible mixture of country singers. My sister and I were having a blast though, then came the rain...

We have not seen a drop of rain since the beginning of August, and then there we were in the middle of a Tsunami. But it did not bother us because thanks to Michael Hall we were destined to have a good time together! Here are our pictures to show for it...

We were running late, so stopped and ate gyro, which was delish!

Gretchen Wilson, is not just a "redneck" to me anymore but an amazing singer.

She seriously blew me away with "angel from Montgomery" - wow.

"If it rains any harder, I'm going to feel like we are in a Taylor Swift video"

- Troy Gentry

haha!

Yes, this would be Gretchen in the middle of the crowd on some dude's shoulders with a beer in each hand. My oh my, no wonder she is known as the redneck woman!

I have been debating all week on calling the Wolf and complaining on how ridiculous their promotions department is. But for now I have decided to just forget it, I got in to the concert and had a blast and that is what matters!

I seriously cannot get over how hilarious and funny this night was. Hopefully, this night will be the first of many big sis/lil sis nights =)

I love you Ash! Thank you for not only being here for me but for listening to me whenever I need a friend. It's truly a double blessing from the Lord to not only get a sister but to get a friend out of you as well. I cross my fingers that we will have more hilarious nights together in the future, no matter if it deals with Drop Dead Fred, Gyros, Physical Therapist rocking out at country concerts or persuading Charli to let us eat school pizza with her! & as always Charli says "askjasjsswccccccccsspllaaiiiwwjj cchar li" - (I love you Aunt Ashley, how are your dogs? Charli)