My Heart.

Have you ever watched the movie, "How Does She Do It?" Well, I did just the other day. At first I was all like yea, working Moms have it so tough. Trust me, they do. I've been a single Mom that worked a rotating shift of seconds and thirds within the same week, and went to school. I've been a married Mom, that works as well as provides at home. I've been that exhausted Mom that has fallen asleep standing, or sat in a bathroom floor crying because I just didn't feel myself.

But.

I am now a Mother, a wife and an in home child care provider. Some may think that I am a stay at home Mother, but truth is I would probably laugh in your face at this. My breaks from children are pretty much in the 30 minute intervals of me laying down and Bryar actually sleeping. My house.. Oh my house. It is always a wreck. I pick up, I mop, I vacuum, then hello, where in the blue moon did that dirt track come from? 

We are still late to everything, 100% of the time. I still run out the grocery at midnight because there is no other time. I never get to make school lunch dates with my Charli girl unless work is allowing me to do so. Did I just say work in that last sentence? 

Whhhhat?

Yes. 

I am a Mother who works in home. I am the Mother who provides for others as well as, "me and mine" under the same roof. I still work but the one thing that I do without is, the respect. 

The respect from others in this culturally money hungry world that we live in. Because we as women, "should be working {outside of the home} too." We live in this society that thinks that we need so much more than what we have. I am guilty of this too. I am terrible at budgeting and I like to eat out way more than the average bear. But at the end of the day, I will suck it up, and I may even pinch some pennies because I want to be here for my little ones. I would never be here if we were doing without. I know it isn't  for everyone and some days I worry that it isn't for me. My heart strings are pulled because I feel as if I should be doing more. But is that cultural talking, the nonsense question I get asked or my heart?

I truly believe that everyone serves their own purpose in their family. Some of us pick to go off to work, some of us do not, some want to work but cannot afford due to child care. We are all Mother's and as easy as it is to judge, remember that we are all working our rumps off no matter the situation.