Thursday, May 26, 2016

Convoy Agaisnt Cancer

Coping mechanisms come in all different forms. Sometimes we blind ourselves with happiness, and moments that bring us joys. Others, we distract ourselves keeping incredibly busy for more reasons than I can count. During this season of my life, I've somehow learned to become an avoider of situations. At one time in my life, I shamelessly faced every feeling and heart break right on my sleeve. But with my heart obviously in some form of heartbreak that I don't even understand on most days all for the sake of my parents, it's better to distract myself for the good rather than making wrinkles upon my face.

It's been a while since I've updated on the prognosis of his cancer, and what has been going on in the last two months, I can only apologize. My heart and my mind has really been at a loss for words on how to speak of this. On April 6, after a turn of events my parents were told that the cancer my Dad has been battling has spread to his brain, involving 17 lesions. The day before my sister and brother in law blessed our family with a new healthy beautiful baby boy. My heart was overjoyed but also mixed with many emotions. While I celebrated my new nephew Tytus Timothy, I also longed to help my parents rejoice in someway and to also keep us all distracted from the cancer that is batting on.

On May 14, along with the help of many others I held a benefit auction, BBQ dinner, and Convoy Against Cancer to help with the medical expenses for my Dad. While I never believed that an event in which became so large could be so gracefully laid out, it literally happened and only be the hands of God. During the planning and organization of other events, even birthday parties, I've been anxious and a demon to say the least. But somehow, someway the event just laid our perfectly and the only explanation of this is the many hands of thousands (yes, thousand) of people that helped in some form. This day could've never been a hint of perfection that it was, without their help.

In the days leading to the Convoy Against Cancer, my Dad had only one small request for the day. This small request was to drive a semi in the convoy, leading the way to the Harper Equipment and Auction Building. While this made us worried at the sake of the motions of the rig causing a seizure of some sort that have been cursing him since the beginning of April, we also wanted this day to be perfect for him. Thankfully, my Mom is more of the form of a super woman and was able to ride along side of him to take over driving if need be.

While we thought this would be perfect, we never dreamed of just how beautiful and humbling this experience would be. As many of us stood along side the road and entrance way into where the event would be held, we watched as my parents drove up smiling ear to ear with 41 other semis behind him Some may remember that one of the hardest parts of this journey for us was watching my Dad sell the dream truck, that he loved so much. So, you may also be wondering whose semi he could've been trucking along in, leading the way... While I may not know this persons name, and all who involved in the process it was a truck fixed up in love and friendship for my Dad to drive at some point. These fine men also placed his nickname/CB just under the window, like every honorable trucker would have. I can never thank these men enough, and I'm sure they were able to witness his smile first hand. But I'm not so sure they could see my tears strolling down my cheeks at the thought of just how happy he was in that very moment of being behind the wheel once again.
(You guys are literally incredible.)

Even though we all often say how we have lost hope within the world, I gained so much of my hopelessness back during this day, and the days following. After watching the trucks convoy in, while train horns rolled and thumbs up were given, we all headed in to prepare for dinner.

I literally stood astonished in front of the crowd, not only because public speaking isn't my, "thing" but due to the 600 plus people that came to love and support my parents. We planned for 300 to serve dinner to, not knowing what to expect and somehow we managed to not run out of food. I really shouldn't even try to describe how wonderful the food was, because I'm fairly certain that I will start craving it. At the end of the night, we were even able to auction of nine gallon size bags full of meat. Curtis and I tried to win the bid, but with no such luck it didn't happen for us. Now speaking of the auction, it honestly may fill my eyes with tears to even write about the auction alone. 

It was literally an amazing experience. From the first item auctioned, ( a country ham that was donated by the local Sheriff was bought and donated back at least twelve times, bringing the total of this glorious ham alone to $2,200. I'm still inquiring with my parents on putting this high priced pork on display.) to the last item auctioned almost four hours later. Even Bryar can attest to the amazing job our auctioneers did during this long night, as he has not stated he will finish speech therapy strongly just so he can talk fast like his new found buds.

Exhaustion the next day couldn't have even been close to the way my mind felt. I was sincerely overwhelmed and filled with joy that I still can barely fathom, from the amount of money raised to the loved filled with had. I'm more than certain that none of us will ever experience another day that was this incredible, just like we will never meet another man that is as wonderful as the man that has chosen to be our Dad. If I could ever repay all of the people that helped make this day such a wonderful success, you all would be millionaires. It was more incredible than I can ever describe through this mediocre blog.

We are all overly grateful for the love that you have given, "Marcel." While the days of battling cancer are long for him and my Mom, we continue to ask for prayers. This couple amazes me each and every day with their proof of love, faith and hope through the hardest of circumstances.

Monday, May 2, 2016

The Greatest Casualty..

The greatest casualty is being forgotten. 

I recently read this on someone's shirt. The quote, the words, the many aspects that it could be taken in took me off guard for a moment. I thought of the thousands of soldiers that have been lost in a casualty of war. The roughly millions of others lost by suicides. But also the legacy that each of us leave behind. 

I started this blog around eight years ago. At the time, I was single but also a Mother. Even though I knew that I had wonderful parents to help provide for Charli girl if something were to even happen to me, I was also scared that she wouldn't remember me. Now, here we are roles reversed. I watch as my Dad battles daily. I listen to my Mother's worries and literally some nights just cling to the texts from my sister asking if she feels this roller coaster ride that makes us both want to throw tantrums. 

Watching someone battle cancer is truly a cycle of grief, that seems never ending. I wake up on Monday mornings in a rush to school to somehow ignore the fact that my parents are already up taking medicine or heading to appointments. I'm an avoider. If I avoid the situation, then it's not really happening. But by lunch, the cycle is already rotating. I'm going from avoidance, to crying, to just being mad. 

It may be selfish motives but it's truth. My life will never be the same, all because of his life. My heart longs to have more years, more jokes and tons of laughter to carry us a long the way. 

I told my Mom tonight that my personality is more true with him that anyone else. {That even includes my husband.} We get each other. We get the sarcasm, morbid and even corny jokes. My happiest moments as a tween, were spent flying over the couch like a spider monkey just to tackle him. I miss those days, and I will never forget them. 

"The greatest casualty is being forgotten," will never take place in this daughters heart. My heart may be grieving, and I will continue to hurt. But my happy will continue to lie within the smile of this 49 year old man, that didn't have to choose to be our Dad and is putting up the perfect fight against the demon called cancer.


While I'm in my stage of avoiding, we have coordinated an event to help with medical expenses. This is taking place on May 14, with a truck show, BBQ and auction. The memories that he can make there on this night with so many loved ones will be more precious than any money that is brought in. Please pray that this is a blessing to both of my parents in many, many ways. 

Monday, March 28, 2016

Easter 2016

As I continue to grow older, the importance behind the greatest day on Earth becomes such a sincere one. I literally can remember just how the chills run up my arms as the story is told. How the tears feel my eyes and just how much I want to raise my hands in worship as we sing, "O' Glourious Day."

I posted yesterday on Facebook that, "Ifs not about the bunny, it's all about the lamb" as a very important reminder to myself. I often get so very caught up in my large bunny feet trail that leads to their baskets, or even the jelly bean poop that's left behind that I forget the purpose - my purpose. I feel like this in life a lot of times but then my four year graciously brings me back to reality when he asks for me to tell him {again} why Jesus died on the cross for our sins. 

While our baskets were small and simple this year, our hearts were full. Our family and gatherings was absolutely wonderful. To be able to be under two different roofs with my children along side aunts, grandparents, cousin and even great grandparents is such a blessings. We never realize sometimes when we grow up having small families, just how much a large family can be a blessing. 

I may overly love playing the roles of different characters, it is so so very important that I bring the true meaning of each holiday to the eye of my children. Since our months of Charli believing in these fictional attributes that come along with materialized holidays, I hope as parent that I remember that...  My greatest contribution to the kingdom may not be something I do, but someone I raise. 

Monday, March 14, 2016

{Hopeful} Sleep Apnea Cure

Adenoids, tonsils, gallbladders, appendix... Four items I'm really unsure why God ever put into our bodies. No, I'm not questioning his format or abilities. I'm just sitting here in bed slightly in an overcast of Mombie mode. Where I'm not sure if I'm tired, or dying. But I lay here thinking that we are full of different items like wisdom teeth that really have no wonderful use within bodies. 

Maybe they're all within to test us. Test our courage, strength and even finances. Because I'm fairly certain I now owe my right kidney to the billings departments that will soon be sending their greetings. 
But maybe, hopefully it is all worth it. We hope that the years of no sleep, the gasping for air, snoring like a big ole' jake break that's been on for far too long will soon come to an end.

Bryar had his tonsils and adenoids removed on Thursday, March 10 due to sleep apnea. He was brave and courageous, while we were a tad overly nervous. We've never had a child under anesthesia, and even through the blessing it can truly make you nervous. If I recall correctly Curtis even compared Bryar to Gunner under anesthesics, just incase there was a cardiac event. It's funny how our brains think of everything even though we have no more of a medical background than EMT. 

We were surrounded by family and pastors through the morning. Which helped settle nerves greatly. The surgery didn't last long at all and in a short time they were calling me to come back. As I entered the PACU doors, I could hear my boy crying and coughing. 

Once again, my Husband refered to me as a cow looking for her bawling calf. I found him at last. He was clueless coming back to reality all while feeling a lump within his throat. After a few minutes of letting things settle down, he quickly enjoyed a banana popsicle. Around twenty minutes later he was moved into another unit where we met up with family. All was well until he eventually realized he had an IV within his arm. The kid is not one for blood, needles or bandaids. So we coached him into drinking, peeing a lot and then it was able to be removed. He had a sweet nurse who even made slushies from popsicles to keep the fluids going. 

By the time we were able to leave and head home, Bryar was already asking for chips and cookies. Uh oh. It almost never occurred to me what kind of struggle it would be for him to not eat crunchy he's items for a while. He settled for more slushies and movies while relaxing. 

He tricked us by sleeping the entire first night all the way through. I thought it was a miracle until night two, three and four set in. Which has been the same ole' struggle, in which we hope gets better. His throat gets stiff and sore while laying down, then he wakes confused. But even through the lack of sleep and low grade temperatures he has overall felt okay.  He's played, ate and drank as decently as we could ask. 

He went to school today since I am there in his classroom with him. I could tell through his eyes that he didn't feel, "so well" but be stuck it out like a champ. At the end of the day I treated both kids to ice cream since it was such a beautiful day. 

All was fun until I had to snatch the cone away from him because I noticed the crunchy cone. 

Update 3/18
I posted the original post on a Tuesday night. After hitting submit I went to sleep, like I typically do after releasing all of my thoughts into this small screen. Around 3 a.m. while trying to console a very pouty Bryar, I turned on his closet light to find him covered in blood. I instantly rushed him to the bathroom to get a better look and start cleaning him up. While in there I noticed that his nose was still slightly bleeding. Which of course sent me into panic mode of yelling for Curtis to get the hospital papers. 
Bryar was shaking and was just so tired but we made him stay awake while we called his ENT. I felt incredibly terrible for waking him in the middle of the night but our instructions stated to call with any sign of blood loss coming from the nose. Dr. Morris reassured us that all was okay unless we could see bleeding in his mouth. I ended up letting him go and trying I settle Bryar back to sleep, until we noticed blood in his mouth. 
Of course we instantly called him back and headed to the ER. After seeing the triage nurse she stated that it was lightly bleeding. So we waited an hour and a half. I decided that I could no longer take the germs and was fairly certain the hacking was making my husband blood pressure race upwards as well. So, I asked he nurse to check his bleeding again. At that time is was no longer actively bleeding and we made the decision to head home. 
Curtis stayed home with him while I went to work. The ENT called to check on him several times before we went in to see him that afternoon. Thankfully, he said that everything looked great and his bleeding didn't make sense, and he couldn't tell what it was. We were so thankful for this as we've been trying to be super careful. 

It's been over a week since surgery and his scabs are still intact. He seems to be getting better each day and his fever seemed to have broke on that long Tuesday night. We just drove home from my parents house and I could've cried to still hear him snoring. So I will head to bed now, and pray that this is still from inflammation and his apnea is cured. 

Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Not Your News To Share.

"I pray that your husband is okay. I heard there was a collision involving a deputy after a high speed chase."

Heart sinking, gut wrenching moment as I read several text messages that appeared on my phone. I was taking photographs of our precious preschooler's building ramps to see which items would roll down, and which would not. I had to stop. Excuse myself and just hear my husbands voice. It wasn't the first time and by the looks of it, I have many more years to go from it being the last prayerful text message that I recieve. While my mind scattered I rushed to the door, he quickly answered the callto say, "I'm okay. But we're all out here. I love you." 

A relief, a deflate of the air I was clinching onto tightly in my lungs. Because the what ifs, can be more scary than you could ever imagine sometimes. 

That's all I needed

After my thoughts were gathered and my mind came to ease, I thought how kind it was for so many people to let me know that they were praying for my Husband. It's something that I wish I could have more often for so many men and women that walk the blue line. It's honestly just SO nice to know people love and care about our family. 


It immediately took my mind back to 2013. The time that I found out my Husband was involved in a very serious altercation by social media. He had called me and long, behold, I missed it. Which happens way more often than I would ever like to m admit. So I started innocently scrolling through Twitter, because at the time Twitter was a huge deal for, "Mom bloggers" to communicate together on. But then I boldly read, "deputy involved in fight on I-65. Caller advises he is by himself and it looks serious."

Within that moment, my outlook on Joe Imel retweeting, sharing, over picture taking posts changed. I was mad. But I was even more scared. I wanted to know more, but most of all I wanted to know he was okay. 

Thankfully, it was no more than a few moments before we were able to talk. 

But could you imagine? Or have you ever thought how it would feel to find out hard devastating news in such a way? To see your family members car in photo, or to see the made up rumors that are so often swiftly posted. It's difficult being a police wife, for more reasons than just this. But this is one that no family, person, or even colleague should ever have to worry with. 

 As a former 911 telecommunications operator. I come from a long line of nosey women who just love to be in the know of every detail that comes to light. But years ago, I met and fell in love with a police officer. He works hard and each day he walks out of the house we pray that he returns home to us. It's actually a family prayer for the children that "Daddy and Gunner are safe at work." But as we all know officers are presently anything but safe in the streets of America. While we are thankful to not be a community shaken by the turmoil of LEO attacks, we are shaken by the others in our country. 

We are Mothers, Wives and best friends to our Husbands. We worry about them until they walk in each day - sometimes even longer than that. While I no longer work within telecommunications, it is nice to see what is going on within our community. But, there is an incredible difference between knowing our community and seeing it first hand. Twitter isn't trained. It doesn't break the news in a lightly manner. It doesn't even touch my scared or possibly grieving heart to see it in my eyes before I even know what's going on. 

There's a true {sometimes sensible} difference between social media and an actual media outlet. 

My hope is to somehow find our way back to that aspect. One that families don't have to be worried with seeing their loved ones car mangled on the side of the road in, or even the description of their car. So, let's take a stand. Put the phones down. Bow your heads, say grace and carry on. 

When it's not your news, don't share it. 

You never know the impact you could be leaving on someone's heart as their lives forever change. 

Saturday, February 13, 2016

Big Chicken Day!

Chickens are such curious animals. They love been cooped up, but then love exploring all new environments that you place them in. In the last few weeks our chicks have grown from adorable to a new awkward stage that Charli Beth calls the "teenage stage." They've become a bit sassy and love to peck pretty well anything they can set their eyes on. 

Christmas Eve was such a beautiful day and the babies loved playing in the barnyard. I wish we could've just left them outside for the weekend. But they enjoyed the warmth of their trough through the cold nights. 

Miss Dolly is still the favorite around here. I also believe that they know she is, as she is always the first one in line for everything. She has grown so much but for a few weeks actually became the smallest chick within the clan. I became a little worried that she wasn't going to make it. But then thankfully Dr. Charli Beth helped mend her back to good health with a few "surgeries."

Bryar made her feel silly with the goofy faces that he is so famously known for. 

Yes, for some reason this hen is in my lap in the house. Which is absolutely crazy, even to my animal loving self. She was just in to give Curtis a good scare. He is hilariously scared of birds, so it's always fun for us to scare him any chance we get. 

Around six weeks we decided it was time to take the Roos to a new home. They were all growing so quickly and with bad weather soon coming, I wanted to be able to give them each enough space within their area as I could. A sweet friend of mine who loves animals, and homesteading welcomed these (hopeful) boys to her home. After much advice from BackYard Chicken, I loaded them up in the Guinea pig cage and headed off. Of course I had to hear about how much they miss their pig the entire way there. 

I'm not sure if Bryar's expressions or the fact that I had five Roos in my car was more funny at the time. At each stoplight I would look back to them all glaring at me with their, "where in the word are we heading" faces. It was quiet the adventure and we are so thankful for Angela taking five of them on. 

Yesterday after school dismissed, wehurried  home and decided it was time for the big move. Most of the twelve inches of snow has melted away and I was to the point of loosing my mind with them in the garage m.

 We had recently moved them into a dog kennel to have more space plus a roost, but with added cedar shavings it just wasn't working the best. They looked the extra space and the large stick to fly onto. But all in all, chickens are made for the outdoors. 

Of course during their move we had to take a photo shoot of the Queen herself. She honestly hasn't been wanting to be held lately so I was utterly surprised when she came in for a snuggle. She is just a beautiful hen. Charli's favorite thing with these chicks are guessing how they will continue to mature in the weeks to come. 

They have all grown so very much over the past five weeks of being home. I am guessing that they will lay their first eggs in April, just right in time for Charli's birthday! Until then... We will just feed, feed, feed them. 

Friday, February 12, 2016

10 Things I Want My Daughter To know.

Ten years ago, I was a very young pregnant woman at only the age of 18. I was single, and literally had no idea what life was about to offer me. What I found through becoming a Mother, wasn't just a new life but a new meaning. This baby was my saving grace, the new path that was the Lords hand in guidance away from destruction. When I look into her blue eyes, it almost baffles me that we have spent nearly a decade together. Becoming a Mother changes you, but being a Mother to a girl brings an entire new meaning.

As my daughter starts to prepare fabulously for her tenth birthday, I cannot help but wonder where the years have flown by. My heart is stuck seeing the little girl in her smoked dress and bow to match. That image will be what I forever see as I think of my little girl.

As she is growing older there are life lessons I would love to prepare her for. Although, some come naturally and will just be a wound to heal as it happens. I want to share things that I want and need her to know before she is another year older. 

1.) We can be friends, but at the end of the day I am your Mother. I will always be here for you. I can only pray that we can talk about what's on your heart as you grow older. Although, if your in a position of wrong doing or swaying toward a path of darkness, I am here to stir you correctly. My number one job in this life is to keep you safe. In doing so, I will have to be Mom first and always. 

2.) You don't have to be friends with everyone. It's true, you really don't have to be friends with all of your classmates. But you must be nice to everyone. We are here in this overwhelmingly large world to shine His light. By doing so, you will make friends and enemies, and that is okay. 

3.) Being young is okay. You have the biggest heart of any child that I've ever met. If you want to pretend you are a horse. Do so. Gallop, neigh, run those pretend barrels as much as you wish. The fun and imagination in playing wears off too quickly. Listen to the beat of your own drum, be unique, but most of all just be you. 

4.) Reading is important. Wether it's your devotional, school work or library book , it is a must that we keep our mind moving. I honestly do not love to read but I can always find a moment where I find myself lost in pages of a book. 

5.) Follow your heart. The days in church families our filled with children asking the Lord into hearts at such young ages. Although, I do not know their hearts and could never say if I agree or disagree with this. I want your heart to be set on the Lord. Never take on a responsibility for your enternity until you know how your heart truly feels. Follow your heart and seek the Lord.

6.) Dream. You call me a "dreamer" every chance that you get. But what fun would the world be, if we ever stop dreaming? My heart is full of things I want to see, bucket lists I want to accomplish and even if it may not happen, I will always strive to check each item off. Dream on... 

7.) Live in the moment. We are given one life to live to the fullest. Our society has become one so focused on phone, Internet and even the blogs that I spent time wasting away on. Although, I may not be leading by example very well, I want you to know its okay. It's simply okay to put your phone down, to cherish memories in your heart rather than storage. When you do get a cell phone in ten more years, look up from it smile and take in every moment. 
While you are very technology innocent at this age, I just want you to know its okay to not worry. As females, we tend to over worry and have old souls that want to change the world. It isn't possible. We cannot change everything, and as the good book states, worrying will only take the joys from tomorrow. 

8.) Your friends are going to change. You will not stay friends with the same people forever. I know this is hard and you're probably not going to believe me. But life changes people. Sometimes we take the paths that are more troubled, others take paths that are just simply busy. You will bond with new girls over the next few years, and that is okay. As long as you remember just how each person touched your life and the memories you made is all that counts. No matter if middle school takes you elsewhere from your best friend at this very moment, I can promise both of you will never forget the time you caught a baby bunny together and begged me to keep it. As much as I long to reconnect to my absolute "best friend of all times" I will never stop laughing at the times we had together. Cherish each friendship, and if they don't last be sure to help them remember that if you ever reconnect you can pick up your friendship exactly where you left it. 

8.) We are going to change. You will soon stop seeing me as the greatest thing since Flicka. I will become the overly nosy, prying into your business "un-cool" Mom. I promise you this isn't all because your Dad is a police officer, and I have this small desire to be a detective but because we love you. 
It's going to be agonizing for you to realize this, and see our reasonings in being too protective. I can just only hope that you understand better than I did. My Mom spent a lot of nights with a broken heart due to a disrespectful child, that didn't realize the love my parents were sharing. When we ask questions, it's for your safety. If we ask who is around, it's so we know incase of emergencies. We will never pry for our own self worth. Our hearts and number one priority is to keep you and your brother safe. In saying that, I pray you will always understand that we will do this at all costs. 

10.) Love. It practically makes me pyshically ill knowing that you will one day have a crush on a boy. A crush that is even more important to you than the time your face turned red every time that certain bull fighter would come around, when you were only four. 
One day you are going to have your heart broken. You may even break a few hearts too. But in all of my years of loving, I learned that the most important rule to follow is that you can never love someone until you love yourself. With loving yourself, also comes with the full responsibility of loving the Lord. Once we know our heart, and are able to accept Him into our own, a boy will never be able to get to you without loving Him first.
Thankfully, with a heart of grace and emotion I will fully be okay with the day that I find you tear burried in a pillow. It will be hard, no matter what. But when you love yourself enough to know that you deserve better, God will provide. 
I chased too many mistakes in my years because I didn't love myself enough. I didn't believe that I deserved better and I didn't trust in Him to provide. Once I realized that my worth was more than I could ever imagine, I slowly began loving myself again. My heartache became content, and I felt new again. You are special and more unique than you could ever image. Your heart of gold could literally take over Mount Rushmore to shine to the entire world. It's just so simply stated that you must love yourself. You are worth it and I will always be here to remind you of that. 

There is more that I would love to tell you. Or words that I feel that I should remind you of. Like how to show grace and mercy. Or how we should always live within the moment. That we should always have a heart of gratitude. But you my sweet daughter with the soul an wise elderly women, you practically have this life figured out more than I. 

I hope that this next decade brings happiness, and memories worth making. I cannot wait to do what we do best, party. It pray it's one for the books, and one that helps you remember how truly special you are to us. 

Thank you for giving me a new life and meaning. You are more special than you know, never forget that. 

Monday, February 8, 2016

Allergy test touturing children since 1860

wasn't prepared. He defiantly wasn't prepared. It was the epitome of a Motherly fail moment, as I had so gently warned my four year old that it wasn't going to hurt. He cried, we could've. But all in all everyone survived, and the tears subsided...after minutes of telling us he was never taking his shirt off again.

I possibly couldn't have blamed him. 

After twenty minutes, the mystery of Bryar's allergies were told. He is allergic to grass, mold and dogs. Gasp. 

We were totally not prepared for the last one. Actually we had even joke around with Bryar while he was all snuggled up to Gunner man recently, saying that he was probably allergic to him. Obviously, our large fur babe isn't the cause of the hives that seem to visit every few months, so our precautionary steps there will be mild. Although, we do plan to take actions on different cleaning methods. Thankfully none of his allergies are severe and his doctor prescribed a medicine to try once a day. 

I'm a slacker lately, so we will be doing this soon. Then waiting to see if another hive comes up at a random time or season. 

After the not-so-very fun allergy skin test, we went in for a sleep study. I was honestly a nervous wreck, and had been trying to prep up how cool it was would be to sleep as a robot for the night. Bryar's sleeping methods are terrible. They're probably the most whacked up case known to child life. It typically takes anywhere from 30 minutes to two hours to get him asleep soundly. This is with the same routine each night:

- brush teeth
- read 3 books
- pray
- lay down until you get sleepy
-sleep like "big boy" or yell at Mom to lay with you because you just need someone to "lay wif." 

Each night he wakes up at least once, if not three times,  course during the study he went to sleep in less than thirty minutes. I swear kids have a way of showing their parents up. He was overly ecstatic to have worms, wires, robots, and even a laser toe. At one point during the night while settling back in, his laser toe even, "shot through a wall," so who wouldn't love that. The sleep tech was overly amazing and literally had the best bed side manner of anyone I've ever met. She is the first person I've ever written several recommendations of rewards and recognitions for. Single handily she made our night wonderful. 
 He has gratefully slept through the night {maybe} 15 times. He snores while sleeping occasionally, especially if his head is in a certain position. Then in the morning waking him up, is like trying to wake a 1,000 lb bear from hibernation. It's scary, angry, and even sad. I've been concerned for sometime that he possibly is dealing with some sleep apnea issues. But of course, I could be seriously wrong. He could just be incredibly spoiled. 

Although, after speaking with a friend who is also an ENT nurse, she felt the same way. We were able to make an ENT appointment very quickly and went the morning before the allergy test. His tonsils are only a two at a large range being size four. So, they really wanting to check for sleep apnea because his adenoids could be large and holding in his allergens. Of course, we hope to not do surgery but most of all we want our son safe, and breathing to the best of his ability. I honestly never realized the effects sleep apnea could have on children or one their behavior. 

It will take up to two weeks for us to receive the results from his study. Until, then we are not-so patiently waiting, all while I go back and forth to a bedroom trying to make him fall asleep with a cuddle buddy.

 One day I will miss these late night yellings for, "mama mama mama mama mama!!!" 

But some nights it's just exhausting, and I may even shed tears over the lack of patience and sleep that my body functions on. 

Story of Mommy

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I am a Christian, Wife to the man of my dreams and a Mother first before anything. I am the very PROUD Momma of Charli Beth that is a five year old little lady & and a new precious boy Bryar that was born in October! I just hope & pray to be the best mommy & wife as possible! II am a very simple girl, and the little things in life make me the happiest. My heart belongs in the country, and I can never imagine living anywhere else! I have amazing dreams for our family and I cannot wait to see where the Lord takes us on this journey!

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