Tuesday, June 30, 2015

A Servants Heart.

I recently taught my former Mission Friends four and five year old class that we are able to be help our church even in the smallest ways. I have always taught my children that we can be helpers of all kinds. As Charli has grown, I have noticed more and more how sweet and precious her heart is. She has a servants heart. I wish that I could learn from her rather than vice versa. I am sure that I will notice things from Bryar as he continues to grow and mature.

In our class we discussed ways that we could help. I then let each child pick a popsicle stick with a task to accomplish during the week. They were all so excited to complete their listed item. Each stick was written with easy accomplishments; clean up in Sunday School, holding the door for someone, saying, "Thank you" to a pastor, or a choir member.  Not only were these children excited to help someone, I could see in their smiles that they felt as if they were making a difference.


So, my question is..

Why do we as adult God fearing Christian men and women. just as myself continue to fail in such areas? My heart has been in a boat wading in a sea of mixed emotions since Friday's Supreme Court ruling. I can whole heartedly state that my heart is not content with where America is leading and I dislike the many decisions that have been made in the recent days. Even through the non-contentment of my heart, I can see that our generation of Christianity is in a magnificent time of our religion period.

Our work just as my little helpers in class is huge. We have the opportunity now more than ever to show love. Love? How easy can it be to show love when we do not agree with the decisions that someone is making, or their choice of sin? It isn't. But as Christians, we must shine His love. 

         You Shall love your neighbor as yourself. Love does no wrong to a neighbor therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.
Besides this you know the time, that the hour of salvation is nearer to us now than when we first believed. The night is far gone; the day is at hand. So then let us cast off the works of darkness and put on the armor of light.
- Romans 12:9-12
 
 
Then, again my heart ached and tears filled my eyes as I went back and read over Romans 1:22 again.
" Claiming to be wise, they became foolish."
 
My heart wept as I thought of the quarrels that have begun, and the hatred that has been sat out in place rather than love. Our guest Sunday School teacher spoke this Sunday morning of the true meaning of, "wise." He stated that we sometimes mix this word up with intelligence, or even the term, "book smart." I could not agree more that being wise means the knowledge of His word, whether it is through life experiences or biblical study. I can say that I am not yet wise. I am only a young Christian learning and eagerly wanting to be filled with wisdom.
 
That my friends is why I have yet to publically speak of the Supreme Court ruling. I've voiced my concerns to my family, and have sat my nine year old daughter down to explain to her the times America has come into. But I have yet to throw scriptures out to where they are intended to be used as anything but wise person sharing their knowledge. Do I understand the bible wholeheartedly? No. So as a Christian, my position is to study. To wrap my mind, around scripture and begin to understand.
 
Why?
 
Because friends, we have a job to do. We have a light to shine now more than ever.
 
 
"For all have sinned and fall short in the glory of God."
Romans 3:23
 
I must remember as a young Christian, a woman longing to one day soon be wise in the word of the Lord, that now is a time to be His servant. His love can shine now during this historical period, more than ever. I can even be the smallest of servants by not shining hate through social media. I can love, even when it is hardest to do so. I can learn by even my littlest friends by putting a smile on my face as I head into this world that needs His love, more than ever. Will this be an easy task? No. I'm actually swallowing my words at this moment, while butterflies fill my soul because I know that this is not a task that will be easily fulfilled. But I promise, that a life of glory leads better than a life of foolishness.
 
A flag may change, colors may vary but the Glory of the Lord will remain.
 

Monday, June 15, 2015

Cool Kid.

It isn't every day that my children stumble my heart. Their innocence and kindrered spirits amaze me daily. They make me giggle until I feel like I'm going to pass out. But they never really say something that makes me sit back and think about the trails they will be facing as pre-teens, teens, young adults and so forth.

I pray over my children as they fall asleep at night. In prayers it isn't just for them, but the people they will encounter, their future spouses and even us as parents. My favorite thing of all is when they sleep together and my hands are placed on them side by side. My heart just feels overly full during those moments. 

Charli Beth recently recieved her new pair of glasses. She was never consistent about wearing her last pair and benign near sighted, it isn't a must that she wears them all of the time. But I must say, that she looks super adorable in them. 


She's totally in the stage where she prances around and thinks she's super fabulous in her new specs. She wants to show them off to everyone, even people who have no idea that they're new. I always say that the confidence of a little girl in a new outfit or accessory, is one that I would love to have. 

Then out of nowhere last night as Charli was showering she asked me, "When so cool kids start being cool? Like what grade do they start being called, "cool?"

And I literally swallowed my heart. 

I sat there for a brief moment trying to grasp the idea that my soon to be over anazlyzing every situation fourth grader, would soon face trails in this area. My mind filled with kids, being kids and wanting to be loved by all. Or the scary factor of, what if my child became that hell cat that bullies everyone? 

My motto to Charli has always been, "Have a kind heart." If she ever snips or says something she didn't take the time to think about, I remind her of this.  It's my motto in hiding, to never be like her Mother that just grew mean as other became mean.

I tried to think of a story in my life experiences to share with her as I explained. I told her that, "As long as you are friendly to everyone and love them all equally there will never be a definition of cool kid. Cool kids come and they go. But being friends with everyone is a win for them all. There will always be someone who thinks they are better, but that's part of life. As long as you do not let tell yourself that they are, then you will not have to worry about that."

I really had no idea what to say. I fee like I opened my mouth and those words fell out. Praise God that they did. 

I then told her about a friend that I had in High School. It was someone I never expected to befriend me. Our school wasn't extremely clique based, we had groups but everyone seemed to mingle. I was quiet and tried to be friends with all, but I just wasn't the best at it. This person really changed my perspective on people in general and how friends should really be. Even as an adult, when I think of friendship, I try to remember this experience. 

When I told Charli about my friend, who had treated everyone with the same kindness I could see her smile. She understood exactly what I meant when I told her that the person didn't have to be kind to me, but instead choose to do so. Which is how we should all be, and that we should give grace to others when they make us upset. 

If only I had a better perspective on these things as a teenager...  

It may not be the perfect form of parenting or the words to say, but it's the best that I know to do. I do know that I had a friend, who made me smile just by simply being kind. As the saying goes, "Nonone can make you feel inferior, without your consent." I must teach my daughter, to have a strong heart but one that isn't overly protected by a brick wall. The brick walls, can be so dangerous for everyone. (This Mother knows all to well about brick walls.

It stumbled me for quiet sometime through the night that Charli would already be worrying about fitting in. I sat in bed reading and thinking this situation over. Because let's face it, the years of pre-teen drama are coming upon us. It's practically came so fast, I feel as if I'm not ready to parent in that aspect at all. 

I wish that I could save my children from heart ache, or the failures of being a friend. But that's impossible. I cannot save her from mean girls. Or the moment when she fails a friend by being snippy. So all I know I can do is teach her, to love everyone, and most of all, to "Have a kind heart."



Wednesday, June 10, 2015

The Love of Work

I will never forget when my Husband and I started dating, he laughed at the fact that I never wanted to leave my small town. Little did he know, I would sweep him off his feet and he would marry me in a few short months. But, the laughs really came into place when I packed our bags and headed into a busier much more occupied county than the one I had been a citizen of for so long. We live in area that is still very rural. Even though the transportation department seems to be taking every inch of our front yard, we are cornered with a farm for many acres behind us. 

But, that isn't what it's all about. 

It isn't the land, or the scenery that comes wth rural areas that I love so much. It's the people. The love, wisdom, work ethic and pure genuine souls that come from small towns that I love so much. If you instantly just thought of an elderly man, that you've practically adopted as a Grandpa then you know what I'm speaking of. I have several. They're all different. But one thing they all know, is work. 



We instill into our children so much entitlement and wants during their childhood. We give them things, before they ever have to work for them. We get hungry and just drop what we're doing to run to Chick Fil A. Because what kid doesn't need to trade in their toy for ice cream? Mine do

We may give our children a little too much, too often. But we also want them to know work, and how to work for what they want. Charli has always been able to save money properly. She saved her birthday cash and funds for two years before we helped buy a horse. 

Although, we haven't ever really made her, do a lot of extra work. Of course she does chores around the house, and cleaned her horses barn. So this year we decided to teach her the life of tobacco. 


Curtis and I both were helping hands as children. I typically walked behind the setter, and gathered leaves during stripping seasons. Curtis had much more experience in all aspects, being that his family still raises. This past weekend, we took Charli Beth and taught her how to walk behind the setter, and place the plants that were missing, pick up the extras or fix the mistakes. 

She worked hard in her time, and honestly didn't complain one time. With every two rows we made, she would get a drink of water and come back running. I literally caught myself smiling through the heat and moments of, "Why are all of these plants messed up?" When a string pulled them backwards by mistake. She loves to work outside and I love the memories that she will make during her times of helping. 


While we worked, we started talking about how child labor laws were different now. How farmers and parents have to be more careful in how they labor their own. It was almost comical as we both thought back to even stories we were told as children. Both of Charli Beth's grandparents are blessed with hardworking genes. Although, one comes from farming and the other within transportation I feel blessed that our children know what work is and that it must be accomplished to get to the next day. 

We aren't slave drivers, nor will we ever make our children work their childhood summer away. We are parents who love our children, and are hopeful that they pick up the love and knowledge for accomplishment through workful lessons. 


Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Summer Break is HERE!!

Last summer when it was brought to my attention that my little, "Baby Bryar" could attend public preschool, I was torn. I wanted to keep my boy home and not send him off to elementary. He was just so little. He barely had any speech at all, and the thought scared me. 

Then as the months rolled by and October came along I obviously changed my mind. Yes, it helped that I would be within his classroom but it also made me nervous. 

With school being out for summer break I look back with pure happiness that we made this decision. His speech is incredible, and he has learned so much already. 

Preschool is entirely different now than it even was while Charli Beth was attending. It is learning through play and the kids just adapt so much better.



For our end of the year ceremony, Mrs. sanders and I hosted a, "Movie Premiere." The children walked down a red carpet to recieve awards and their certificate. We then watched a movie that showcased videos and photographs from the entire year. To say it was bittersweet is an understatement. I can honestly say that each of them will forever hold a special place in my heart. I was completely honored to teach along side Mrs. Sanders and to love on them all year. 






It was also a special honor for the classroom to be named a Classroom of Excellence this year. There are over 1,000 preschool classroom in Kentucky and only 44 have this title. It's been an interesting yet exciting journey! 




Bryar will was awarded "Best Naptime Award" at our Movie Premiere because the kid never woke up at the correct time. He always slept even though he never sleeps at home, and could sleep through a fire drill if it came down to it.



He has two more years of preschool and I cannot wait to see how much he continues to grow! 

Charli Beth has absolutely loved third grade. Her teacher is a special woman and I'm so thankful she had a figure in her life like Mrs. Harris. We learned a lot of Charli's strengths and what areas we need to improve on before fourth grade arrives. It's mind boggling to think that she will be a fourth grader next year. I truly believe fourth grade will be a lot of fun for her and the interesting history she will learn.




This is my first Summer home with the kids. Every other Summer I have either been working or keeping other children. I swear I get teary eyed thinking about the moments we will share together over the break.... (I swear these kids make me have silly emotions that I never dreamed of having before.)

So far, we've picked strawberries, played, gathered library books, made a tent and starting a new learning system for Bryar.









We truly do not have any major plans this Summer, except make memories :) 


Here's to Summer Break 2015!! 

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

American Hero

 I'll forever teach my children to love everyone, because respect is something that is so very important to our family. We teach to look people in the eye, use manners, shake with a firm hand, and always hold the door open for the next person behind you. We say our prayers at bed time, and of course we consistently pray for the lost; which even includes the ones who stray away from a Christ-like life. We fail miserably at a lot of things within our day to day life, but one thing I will forever try to do is not teach hate.

Someone's choice of life style may be the far end of the spectrum to us. We may completely disagree and even turn up our nose without even thinking of it. But I will never shame them to my children.

But something I do have an issue with, is of course the media.

Constantly we are exposed to things that the Media is backlashing on or asking our opinions about. It can be a Mother breast feeding her infant at a table while barely exposed, or a police officer who arrests a mother after she tries to flee from them. There are too many things to mention that the media tries to stir the pot on. They make us into a social media civil war by throwing normal, simple agenda items into a mix of hate. Then they give us....

Bruce Jenner
AKA "Caitlyn"



We hear beautiful, amazing, courageous...American Hero.

And after the last one I wanted to throw my remote at the TV, slam my Ipad into the wall and just scream at how frustrating American views are becoming.

Wikipedia describes a hero as,  a person or character who, in the fact of danger and adversity or from a position of weakness, displays courage or self-sacrifice.

We can describe a man, who decided to change into a woman for self happiness an American Hero. But we can tell a veteran in Georgia that she is wrong for standing up to the college students for stomping the American flag. We yell "Cover up!" to the Mom who is feeding her crying baby while it is hungry. We turn our backs to the police officers who protect our streets from harm. The teachers that teach during the school year are reprimanded for being too "firm" with a child. If you can notice not one of the people are fulfilling an obligation for theirselves.

An American Hero is a selfless person. Someone who reacts for the betterment of others. Not for self happiness.

We continually tell women by our public image that they are not good enough, small enough, or smart enough. We are consistently trying to make Women into more. While we praise a man for becoming a woman? It just blows my mind. 

In the beginning a laughed at the jokes, rolled my eyes, and even made comments that medals should be taken away. Then I started thinking that in reality it isn't my place my judge someone for what they have decided to become. I became a young Mother at an early age and even though she is the best thing that could of ever happened to me, I really hate when other snarl at me for that part of my life. We all do things that we shouldn't have, and most of us have grown from it. It makes us into who we are and hopefully we become better from it. But we do this by the grace of God. We are all lost, all buried within the items of the world. Although, it's when we find ourselves through the gospel that makes our lives really count. 

It isn't a judgement but only a fact that it will never change that Bruce Jenner is still Bruce Jenner. Each and every day, no matter the surgeries or the enhancements. Deep within his core, he will always be a male striving to be a female. It isn't a choice to pick which gender you are. It's not a freedom that our men and women died for. He didn't sacrifice anything to become a Catilyn with a C. So he is far from anything to be considered an American Hero. 

As a Mother I just cannot help but to pray that my children never forget the true definition of a hero. I will continue to take them to parades with brave men and women marching while they wear their veteran hats. I will encourage them to thank the eldery couple sitting next to us at a restaurant for serving our country.  I will smile while my son gives a high five to a police officer, or hugs his teacher as we leave school. I will never teach them to have a false identity and to be someone who has life full of selfish regrets. 

A true example of an American Hero:



Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Not All Heroes Wear Capes



It is a very obvious factor that I stand behind the thin blue line. Not because I married an officer but because I see each one of you. I see your hard work, your underpaid jobs, the stress, the passion and the courage it takes to step out in your uniform each day. 

We have now become a nation that wants officers to have a "softer look" and a "non-warrior like" mindset. It makes my head spin at the issues that our government is putting into brains of cowards. The blood on their hands, that they do not want to account for. The praises of "bad guys" and the discouragement of officers. It literally makes me furious. 



The #WeSeeYou campagian was started to show officers that we support them. That we see their departments facing turmoil and even grieving in the deaths of their partners.

During National Police Week I decided to host a rally in support of police. It was quickly put together and within one week, we were standing as a group holding signs in honor of the Thin Blue Line. 


I was told by a friend that people that hold signs are, "stupid." 

I wish to say that it made me mad. But it didn't. It made me sad. Sad for the fact that people do not understand the cause. That we are families watching the news closely when an officer goes down. That we are checking Joe Imel anytime our spouse doesn't answer. We sit lonely at dinner tables because the bad guy is getting their time, rather than us. 


We're in America. The country who seems to be screaming for a war against police. It's scary, it's sad and it's disrespectful in too many ways to mention. 

My day spent out in this intersection was anything but stupid. 


Because it isn't just about holding a sign. It's about the love, that is shining through. The courage it takes to step out and say, I stand behind the Thin Blue Line. The smiles you get as someone passes by, nodding their head like, "Finally, someone cares. They see law enforcement for the good." It's about the man who held up traffic to show my kids his badge and give them a thumbs up. It's the moments that make you smile, because you know you made another human smile in a 10 second period as they drove by. 


We may be few yet it's full of encouragement to stand next to police wives, family, friends and even people I do not know. To show we care and will always be standing firm in the honor of the men and women who serve our streets. 

We honor our husbands, who work odd shifts. The officers who are cursed at, fought, and shot in the middle of the streets. The women who never make it home to their children because a coward had the simple excuse that he, "didn't want to go back to prison." 


It's tough some days to send my husband off into the streets to a country of hatred for servants that protect. It nerve wracking to say the least as I read tweets, and know that he is in harms way. But every night he makes it home, I thank God for the chance to love him another day. 

Dear officers, #WeSeeYou 

National Police Week 2015 



Saturday, May 9, 2015

Passion(s) of Motherhood

Growing up I always knew that I wanted to be a Mommy. I've always wanted four children and to this day my hopes are still there. I wanted to give someone love, and provide the neccasties of life for them. I never in a million years thought that I would become a {single} Mom at the age of 18. I was scared yet hopeful and excited. I wasn't sure if I was fit to be a Mother at such a young age. It was scary but even more scary when a doctor told me that I should consider adoption. My heart sank at the realization that someone else thought I may be incapable. So, just as I in my prideful spirited ways choose to do, I proved them wrong.

Not because I wanted that sastisfaction but because I knew I could love. I knew that my heart was full of so much love and passion for something but I just never knew what until I held my baby girl in my arms. 

She was amazing and beautiful. She was exactly what my life needed in that very moment. For the next five years, I provided and nourished a child in every possible way that my Motherly heart knew how. It may be prideful of me but at this time in my life, I can look back on that part of my life and call it a blessing. 

I needed her as much as she needed me. She was a gift from God, that pulled me back into a reality that I had lost so long before. Her blonde waves and adult like language pulled the strength from me that I never knew was possible. She taught me to be more patient and to love with all I have. Her innocent heart taught me to be more curtious and kind. She taught me what life was all about, all while I was trying to give her one.

As the years passed and I found the man who became my Husband. Things changed and we added a new addition into our family. This time it was different, but in a good way. My world still revolves around my children. But my new passion, is my Husband. I do not play this role as easily as I once hoped I would. Although, I am becoming more certain that we called to love our Husbands first and our children second. It's a hard bit to chew on, but the more that I strive to surround him with love the better my Motherly roles play out. The snuggles in bed may last for what seems like forever somedays. The never ending wrestling matches may go on for hours. The PonyElla book that I've been reading for 4 years may get old. But as I think about the days when our children are grown, and are in their path of marriage I pray they can look back to the example I have led for them. That is what is most important to me. 

I strive to be a Godly spouse and Mother. Yet, I could never in a million years even come close to saying I'm near perfection in that aspect. Although, I do know where my heart lies and that is in the glory of his name. Somedays, I feel as if I can just make it through the day without being hateful or crude I am doing well. Then others I think to myself how can I show my children how to be a good parent and spouse. I want them to see that they can play both roles equally, and both roles just as fabously. 

I want my daughter to see that I can give her and her brother love while I am loving their Father. I want Bryar to see how a wife should be, so he remembers as he searches for his own. Charli may be young but the girl hears and sees all around her. She takes it to heart and I pray that while she may be eavesdropping, she takes in the amount of time that I give to each of them in each role of my life. That my days are spent loving, providing and nourishing as Mother but they are also spent showing my children how a Wife loves her Husband. 

This Mother's Day I can truly say that I am overly blessed. My family is coming closer together. Our union is in a precious stage and for that I am incredibly grateful.

As a Mother, I'm not sure I can feel anymore blessed than that alone. 


This Mother's Day I would like to say thank you to all women who make a difference in someone's life. You each play an amazing role in caring, loving and supporting. Thank you for loving when it's easy and most of all when its hard. Thank you for simply being you, and as unique as you are. We need more of YOU in our world. Take this day to relax, and reflect on the Mother you are or even have been this past year. 

This is your day and I pray it's full of sweet blessings. 

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

The Never Ending Birthday Gift.

Most little girls ask for dolls or technology for their birthday. But Charli isn't just a girl. She's an animal lover and a wanna be rancher. So when she asked for chickens for her birthday we weren't overly surprised. At first we thought, she wanted chicks and we quickly turned the idea down because of the amount of time takes to care for them. We then quickly realized that she wanted hens that were already laying eggs or would be soon.

So, after much discussion, library books being checked out and 500 pins later we grasped the idea that it could be done. I've never been around a chicken in my life and honestly the thought of being pecked didn't sound favorable. But I'm all for new adventures of the farm life, so I became just as excited as Charli Beth. 



We attended our first Mennonite auction in our hometown, and to say we loved it would be an understatement. Even the knee high mud was fun for a while. The amount of turkeys, ducks, chickens, bunnies and other small animals simply blew our minds. We decided not too purchase anything that day and to buy from a couple that we had recently met. But I can say we will make this auctions. yearly trip with my parents. 


The upcoming week was Spring Break. It was the perfect opportunity to work on our coop with Meme and Papaw. On Charli's birthday while we were out celebrating they put the nesting boxes in. I'm pretty certain that my Father in law doesn't give himself enough credit for his handy man skills. 


Later in the week, we added in a roosting pole, bedding, and put dust baths out. 



Charli learned to use a hammer that day while building another dust bath. I truly love the memories that we gather in family projects like these. This gift will be one that she never forgets for many reasons. 

When the time came to picking out hens Charli had her heart set on Rhode Island Reds. We figured that a total of four chickens would be sufficent for her responsibility, so Charli picked out two Rhode Islands. She then discovered the cool blue eggs that Amerucana chickens lay and decided to go wth two of them. My Mothr in law picked 4 Buff Orpingtons. 



Our girls bundled up together and all road home in the back of the truck. The driver of the truck who just so happens to be afarid of birds, didn't go over 15 mph. Which made us all giggle! We put the girls to bed and when we went to feed the next day, they all seemed to be enjoying their new home. 

   



By the time for Charli Beth's birthday party that afternoon, we had our first three eggs. Charli and I were so excited to use them for decoration. But we were all in amazement over the size of the egg!s!


As you can see the egg on the left was absolutely huge! It was my first double yolk and I may have even danced throughout the house in excitement.

Charli Beth is absolutely loving her responsibility of feeding and tending to the ladies. They have been SO much fun for all of us. Seeing the joy and listening to the kids talk about them, makes this one of the best gifts ever. We couldn't ask for a better way to teach responsibility, commitment and love for animals. Of course who wouldn't love a gift that never stops giving? 




Story of Mommy

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I am a Christian, Wife to the man of my dreams and a Mother first before anything. I am the very PROUD Momma of Charli Beth that is a five year old little lady & and a new precious boy Bryar that was born in October! I just hope & pray to be the best mommy & wife as possible! II am a very simple girl, and the little things in life make me the happiest. My heart belongs in the country, and I can never imagine living anywhere else! I have amazing dreams for our family and I cannot wait to see where the Lord takes us on this journey!

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--If you have any questions or just want to chat, feel free to email me! @ paigeleana@yahoo.com --

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