As a teen, I was stubborn and angry. I hated a lot more than I enjoyed life. I was hateful and snide. I was bitter at what had happened already and assumed that more heartache was in store. Even though I let these years waste by with an angry heart my biggest mistake of all was assuming my own destiny.
No matter the mistakes or even the good deeds I pulled off. I just knew that my life was destined to be, "bad." I assumed that people hated me, so I made them. I assumed that people thought I was rude and cruel, so I was.
Tonight, I am telling the story of my past. A past that I pray that my daughter never faces. One that I wish I could have years to remake, or even a day to show someone a nice gesture. Obviously since that is impossible, I pray that this helps someone else understand how we create our destiny and that each day is our own masterpiece for the taking.
When I started high school I was shy, and didn't know more than a handful of people. I had moved to a new county at the very end of middle school. I wanted a fresh start and it was all in my hands of how it would go. Until, halfway through freshman yeaa group of girls started picking me as their new target to bully. Although I was shy, I had never been one to let others pick me apart, and I wasn't about to start.
This is what started my path of destruction from that point on.
I was angry that I couldn't handle the situation. I was even more ashamed that I had somehow gotten myself into a predicament that I was fairly unsure of how to get out of. So I just stayed in this downward spiral of bad attitude and huge mistakes.
But I am here to tell you, that...
You are one of a kind. You have the ability to overcome any mistakes you have made.
You are beautiful. You are not your past.
You are intelligent. What they say may hurt for now, but years down the road you will forget it all.
You are wise. Choose your words kindly, because what you say to someone will stick out in your memories more than anything else, purely by the way that you made someone else feel.
You have it what it takes. Everyday is a new beginning, and you are the one who decides how each day will go.
You are loved. It may be hard to see it at this very moment. But I urge you to look around and I guarantee that your parents, grandparents, pastors and even teachers who are ready to show you love just by listening. Use them to vent to, cry on or even just to spend an afternoon with. I promise that it will make your day, all while making good solid memories that you will want to look back on.
You are remarkable. Step away from this blog, and go look in the mirror. Do you see that girl starring back at you? She is going to accomplish the world. It may not be in the way that you once planned. But it's going to be an amazing journey.
You are worth it. Sweet girl, please never think that you are not worth someone's time or their love. You will find it. Don't worry about the boy in your past, or the one who just made you mad. Far better things are coming... I promise.
You are not the mistakes you have made. Oh, how I wish someone would have spoken these words to me. You can start over in this very moment. These moments of wrong decisions do not define the woman that you are or will become.
You do not know your destiny, so choose joy. Joy is the way to everlasting happiness. Each new day that comes to you will be a brighter blessing just by choosing joy. Don't be the woman, wishing you would have said, "no" to happiness for a relationship that doesn't feel right, or a fight because a mean girl made you mad. Or the girl who has a glare rather than a smile. Be the girl who stands for the good. Today is the day that you can decide to be who YOU want to be. I have faith in you and no matter what you may believe in this moment, I guarantee that someone around you believe in you too.
I pray for girls like me every night. You may not be this girl although I guarantee that you may know one. So I ask that you reach out to her and let her know how much you love and are thinking of her. She may not listen at this moment but in the days to come it will be a blessing to look back over the, "good." Show love, even when it's hardest to show.
... May we all choose joy and laugh at the mistakes that have made us into the women that are today.