Never Let Me Forget

While there is so much craziness going on in the world and as I sit here trying to wake my sleeping toddler. I am reminded of the good. The things that I never want to forget. But sadly, we are all to often to forget the good but never let the bad go. The news in Missouri has broke my heart this week. Watching the footage of citizens looting, trashing and burning buildings for no reason is quiet depressing. We're not animals, but we are suppose to be the country of amazing opportunities. Which I hope we come back to being one day. 

For tonight, I just want to remind myself of the things to never forget. 

- The way Bryar snuggles and rubs but feet under whoever he is falling asleep next to. 

- How Charli would look outside as a toddler and say, "It's a perfect day." my great Grandmother will never forget this. She still gets tears thinking about those memories. 

- The way Charli would say pup cake instead of cupcake, or Diddy instead of Daddy. 

- When Bryar knows he is doing something he shouldn't, he just smiled and shakes his head "yes" at me while I give him the "mommy stare down."

- Charli's prayers at night which states, "Please do not let anything happen to my family, friends or I and please forgive me for all of the lies I've told." Repeatedly, like she is a chronic liar. 

- The way that Bryar prays at dinner, "Jesus. Amen."

- How he squishes my face together to give me a kiss.. Or even lick me (ugh)

- When Charli goes to bed she always says, "Goodnight. I love you. I'll see you in the morning." 

- As Curtis arrives home from work Bryar excitedly runs to do the door to ask "to bad guys, Daddy?" 

There is so much good in the world. Wether it is in our homes, our work, churches or even schools. Sometimes we let the bad outweigh the good that we should all share but we should never forget the everyday miracles that God has given to us. 

Dear Officer Darren Wilson

              From the depths of my soul, I want to say thank you for being the man and officer that you are. I do not know you personally but your work morale and strong since of courage shines throughout the United States. It makes me sad to see how much we as American citizens, have failed you.

              You see, I am a police wife and also a former telecommunicater  and although that does not mean much to some people, it means the world to me. I've learned in the last seven years of my life what all comes from working within law enforcement. It isn't about the cars, the k9's, the badges, the guns, the pay... it's totally not about the pay. Its about the community. The one that you were sworn to protect and the one that you sir, have you put your life on the line for. I applaud you just for that very fact a lone. There are so many men and women who do not make it home at night back to their loved ones, and that truly makes me sad. I hope you find strength in knowing that there are many citizens are praying for you and for your city.

              Some may wonder why I think that America has failed you. But it's almost comical that more do not realize this how we fail the ones who protect us on a daily basis. You as well as the thousands of other LEO's are looked over every day. We distrust you, we belittle you, and we make cowards of you due to your chosen selfless career. The night of August 9th, when you were protecting  your life and took the life of an adult criminal to save your own, we let you down. We didn't have your six. The media blew your service out of proportion. The president belittled you and we took this to an entire new level of, "war."               

              A war that comes from the core of our beings. 

The hearts of each of us. This is not a war of the way we each look nor the color of our skin. It is the war of hearts. Each action we simply take each day is made from where our hearts lie. 

             The facts were given live on a Monday night. You were proven innocent and my heart rejoiced. Some say this is a victory for Law Enforcement but truly it is not. Even though you survived the situation, no one is a winner. That is why I thank you. You were strong enough to not only keep yourself safe, but to now forever endure the wrath of another men's terrible choice. 

            We have now become a country that is full of silent protest for criminals. Yet, the innocent are still fighting for their lives. It honestly makes me sick to see what kind of generation my children will be raising into. I can promise you this as a Mother of two. My change in this world is to better my children. Teach my children to have respect for authority and most of all to know right from wrong. They may make a terrible choice one day, but I have faith that putting morals into them as children will help as they grow into adult hood. 

             I can only hope that our country gets back to our sense and realizes that even though this is a sad situation we can all learn for the better of it. We can all learn that color, is just a color. Although, sin is huge and running our country into a deeper hole than ever before. I pray that this incident does not act upon your character and you can uphold the man that you are. I pray that our country finds a leader who will not turn their back on the public servants of America, to only praise a community into dividing. I pray that if this were to ever happen to my family, that we stay as strong as yours. 

             Lastly, that my Husband always watches his six to come back home to is each night because we are letting to many citizens have power that should not. 

#PoliceLivesMatter

The Incredibly LATE Halloween post.

So I've neglected my blog again this month. To be honest, life and Mommy hood just get in the way. I constantly see Moms on Twitter talk about how they no longer blog, and it truly makes me sad that I've let my slip so far behind. A lot of days I am just to lazy to work my little fingers more than I already had during the day. 

Saying that I love Halloween is an understatement. I love getting crafty, a little spooky or even a little crazy {Just kidding. Our kind of crazy is sitting at my gradnma's eating soup.} 

Charli picked out their matching costumes last Halloween. It is my favorite thing to have them matching on Halloween, and thankfully they love it too. Hopefully this will last a few more years, or else I may have children who hate Halloween after I punish them into wearing my picks. (The joys of parenthood.)

This year we attended the church Harvest Festival. Despite the chilly weather we really enjoyed our night as a family playing games and fellowshipping with church members. We knew that Curtis had to work on Halloween night so we tried to make this night count. The forecast for Halloween was also looking crummy. Which was exactly right. On Friday night as we went from church to church trying to stay warm, it started sleeting on us very very heavily. It was SO strange for southern Kentucky. I even noticed an elderly man holding his hands out saying, "well, I've never in my life..."

Mine either.

So that was the end of our trick or treating. We headed into the heat but mainly for the soup, sausage balls and deserts. It is always such a blessing to me at my grandmothers with the entire family packed in. The kids may run wild, and Pa may tackle a few every now and then but I wouldn't have it any other way. 

To much surprise Charli Beth does not have their costumes picked for next year. I'm sure she will come up with something great but it will hard to beat the little bull (bushwhacker) and rodeo clown. 

The Three-nager Is Upon Us...

Just like that, my sweet cuddly, Mommy loving baby Bryar went from sweetness to a three-nager.

Never heard of it before?

Let me explain.

It sometimes looks like this:

Then five seconds later it is batting it's big blue eyes saying, "I sowwy Mommy."

The tip of your Mommy heart breaks off, and you hug your toddler because you know in five seconds he will once again look like the first picture. I'm not sure how they do it. How they wrap us in time, after time. But they know what they're doing and they're little pros at it. 

The day that Bryar turned three the world we knew took a turn. He started speaking more, then came the attitude, hands on the hips, pouting, yelling and even trying to hit. Along with this has come a lot of talking, spankings, time outs and even moments walking away to wipe my own tears. 

Parenting is tiresome. Teaching respect is even more than exhausting. 

I never want to hear someone say terrible twos, again. I love my sweet (when he wants to be) boy but threes are terrifying at times. It's extremely true that the person who made the term, "terrible twos" had not witnessed the grand age of three. 

I strive to always deal with things properly but let's be honest. We are human. We're not super Moms 24/7, even though we strive to be. I have struggled very much with my parenting abilities; weaknesses and achievements. I am more than certain that I've shown my weak moments more than my positive ones this week, this month or even year. 

The hardest part of parenting has to be that spilt second after a moment occurs and you think "Holy haystacks, I should have dealt with that differently." But as I lie here in bed, wishing I could go to sleep, because every bone aches and I feel as if they have sucked the breath right out of my lungs for the night, I am at peace. 

Why, you ask? 

Because thankfully, we have a savior who gives us grace. We are even given grace when it comes to parenting our backwards head, screaming, arms up in the air just so you will drop them, "no!" yelling three year olds.

I will wake up in the morning, with a <l> half way </l> fresh mind and I will continue to tackle the challenge of teaching respect. Because if I do not now, then who will later. Even if it is tough, it is my responsibility to take on. 

"It is easier to build strong children, than to repair broken men." 

Why Am I So Passionate?

Lately I have been questioning my passion for politics. I thought well maybe it is my age or maybe I am just getting old. Even though I am vocal when I feel that I need to be, I feel as a sense of peace and pride about this passion of mine. 

I raised a lot of brows on Facebook when it came to a political election that was not even in my county. It was actually in my home town. A town that I love, was raised in and worked for during a great deal of my adulthood. I felt that my opinion and stance was something that others could read, that they had no idea what we experienced in office. The race was ugly and seemed to get uglier by the days. But I stepped in. Not because I wanted to cause trouble but because I have a passion. After working four years within law enforcement and now being the wife to a police officer, my passion still lies there. 

The one Wednesday night I sat at church speaking to an elder man who was a veteran about some political issues that I was concerned about. I wanted the view of a veteran so I sought to him for my answers.  Every question that I asked, he would give his answer then say, "when our country no longer votes that is when it is really over. We have been defeated when we no longer care to vote."

Even though I have always been a voter and put a lot of decision into who I casted my vote for, his words stung me. It left me thinking that I am raising my children into a nation of non-voters. Or better yet, we have become a nation of voters who just do not care. It still stings when I think of his words, with his hands squeezing together in urgency that he fought for a county who is not standing where it was founded upon. That moment I decided that my passion, was okay. My vocal words of praise or words of what I feel is not right, were okay. 

I am very happy with election turn outs from yesterday's polls. Except for one, we have a dear friend who is a sheriff in a county and lost. His loss will bring a great deal of change to a county who needs his sheriff capabilities the most. I'm not understanding why these citizens made this change but I know that he and the deputies who are leaving will find a place of belonging. You will never know how a race may go, and for some of us that is very scary. 

{I should have posted this days ago.} I urge you no matter what your occupation is, or where you passion lies do your reach. Talk to the politicians, seek advice, tell the candidates what you have liked or what you have not. Just never have an attitude about not caring. Our freedom to vote was fought and died for. We control our votes and it is the only way to make the change that you could possibly want. But as I tell my preschool friends.. 

You get what you get, and don't throw a fit.