Radio Flyer Snaps by The Iphone

As we were leaving Jackson's Orchard I saw this Radio Flyer wagon sitting on the hill and although I only had my iphone with me I thought it (may) call for some cute photos!

 

Sadly, I do not have a photo editing device to help lighten, besides instagram of course.

 

But I still think they are super sweet.

Glasses for Charli

I have dreaded the day that Charli or any of my other childern would come home with headaches or notes from school saying that they are having a hard time seeing the bored. But this day finally arrived this year for my pretty girl. As she was getting off the bus she would tell me how bad her head was hurting. At first I kind of panicked, hoping that all was well then as it conitnued on I thought I should email Mrs. Graves and see if she was having any issues seeing the bored. But before I was even able to do so, she emailed me with exactly what I needed to know.

"Charli is having a hard time seeing the bored and reading. She is having to squint her eyes and she has started to have headaches. I am sure that you have noticed, but not be alarmed I typically have 4-5 kids to go through eye changes in first grade a year."

So I talked to over to Charli, and at first she was nervous so we had to go through sceanarios of "if someone made fun of her" and how they really are not a friend in the first place if they are saying ugly hurtful things. Then she prayed, she most sweetest prayer ever...

 Yes, she uses "emotional" all of the time. We refer Charli to a little adult with her vocabulary and facial expressions. And no I was not kidding when I stated that I would rip someone apart if they were rude to her. I will. :) That is what Momma bears are for though, right?

So the next day, CB, Bryar, my Mom and I headed to Valu Vision here because they seem to have the best deals around. The staff I must say were from all sorts of people from super friendly to not so pleasant. Thankfully, Charli had the sweetest girl helping her there!

 When it was time for her to go back and see the Doctor she started to become her typical little awkward self. (She makes this face that looks like a fish out of water.) The doctor did not take to long at all to tell me that she was far sighted, although it was not bad and more than likely something that she will grow out of as she gets bigger and her eyes get "longer."

So, we were stuck. Does she need glasses or does she not? The Dr was up in the air about it and said that either way would not be a bad choice, it would just help relieve her symptoms if she did get them. Then he decided to go ahead and dilate her eyes to so that he could see them better. Typically, after dialation if you can a difference in them.


But, he didn't.

 We were up in the air again. But finally I decided that it was in her best interest to go ahead with glasses while she is younger. This is an important time as she continues to learn to read and spell. I hate to continue to interfer with her vision and not give her something to help her focus better. Thankfully, she does not have to wear them constantly and only while focusing at school, tv or computer.

 Charli was having a time with her eyes being dilated but never fear, she picked out the two cutest pairs of glasses that we came across.

The next week was filled with complete excitement as to when she would be able to wear her glasses to school to show Mrs. Graves. When we were finally able to pick them up, we realized that they are even more cute that we had ever planned. She looks so much older wearing them, and I just love her cute self!

As I see myself, My Daughter Sees Me.

A little while ago while scrolling through Twitter, I caught part of a conversation between a girl Mom and a follower of hers. She was speaking about how she cannot stand the fact that she has low self esteem in her self image and the impact it can have on her daughter.

Whoa.

So I sat there thinking for a while over analyzing the impact that I have now forced onto Charli Beth. Even if it is a selfish of me, I will be the first to admit that I have never truly put this into perspective like I should have been doing all along. I do make comments to my daughter about my body, my hair and most of all myself in general. Even when she says sweet sincere things like, "Mommy I hope to be as pretty as you one day." I just shake my head telling her "No Char you do not want to be like Mommy."

What kind of example have I been setting as not only her Mother, but her friend and of course her role model? We as parents, friends or family members are setting the future for our children. They are sponges, sponges of lots of fails and positives that we have put out there for them to soak up. Even if we are a little down on our selves should we continue to pass out the judgemental flaws or should we lift them up with positives and respectful manners? It is our decision to pick how we want our children to feel about us and themselves.

This is a photo of me just as I was going to bed, still thinking about the impacts. I have no make up on, and yes I typically wear my hair as a mess. I possibly have the most low self esteem of anyone I know. I can point out flaws to you in a matter of seconds in which most people would be asking what or where these flaws were (Ex: My hair, my teeth, my scar, my attitude, my fashion) My husband questions why I feel this way about myself daily, and wonders how I ever got to this point. Honestly, so do I. Is it a girl thing? Or a young Mommy of two thing? I am not sure. But I do know that we must love and respect our selves because if we do not, who will including our little ones.

Do I want Charli or Bryar either one growing up to think that I am "not good" enough? No. I want them to think of me as flawless, just as I think of my own Mother. Or do I want my husband to think less of me just because I am Pessimistic Paige 24/7? Of Course not.

 

So it is up to ME and me alone to fix this problem. What can I do to eliminate this "issue" of Mommy fails that I am having right smack in front of my daughter? For one, keep my mouth shut and two work on the issues that I believe I have by talking to other Moms. I have figured out in the last week, that just talking to someone (Which just so happens to always be my Husband) and getting my feelings out there is so much better then keeping them in to where they make me sink further into an uncomfortable hole of pointless self consciousness.

Next, PRAY. This is huge. God made us beautiful women for a reason. He made each of us unique in our own way, so we could show our ups, downs and all arounds if you must. I pray daily to be a better Wife and Mother, for the Lord to show me the way in his word in becoming what HE created me to be. Because like stated above we are such important role models for so many different people in our lives. Little people who do not need anymore negative energy than they are already given in this crazy world.

Lastly, be thankful. Each of us as Mother's have our own baby battle wounds, from stretch marks to deflated boobies (Don't act like you have no idea what I'm talking about. Nursing can take a toll on your ladies!) I have a scar from a surgery that I had as an infant that goes from my breast bone to my belly button, it is terribly ugly and big. But in all honesty, if I wouldn't have had that surgery would I be here today? I have scars on my legs and beside my right eye from a awful car accident that I was involved in after graduating high school. I am thankful, since these scars are the only marks I was left to deal with for the rest of my life.

My belly may not be flat now after two babies and my hair may not be perfect but my heart is full and my cup runneth over. As we all know this is what matters the most, and for that very reason I will pick joy. Joy in bringing my self up and never bringing my daughter down with my thoughtless statements of my own self image.

 

Your body is a testimony to the world of God’s design. Carry the extra weight joyfully until you can lose it joyfully. Carry the scars joyfully as you carry the fruit of them. Do not resent the damages that your children left on your body. Just like a guitar mellows and sounds better with age and scratches, so your body can more fully praise God having been used for His purposes.
-Rachel Jankovic

End Of Watch

On Friday, the Hubby and I along with his "best buddy" who he works with Nick and his sweet wife Nicole went to see a`movie. At first I  thought we were going to see Lawless, because honestly it looks really great. I am an action movie type girl. Taken, is my absolute favorite movie so I am sure that you get my drift.

I had not heard of End of Watch yet, mainly due to the fact that I never watch TV so previews are typically something that I miss unless I see them while watching AMCs Hell On Wheels. Curtis first told me that End of Watch was kind of like Training Day, so I became fine with the fact of missing Lawless (again) and going to watch (another) police movie.

But whoa, I never realized how huge End of Watch would impact me. I honestly think I was still baffled by it until the next day. I tweeted something to the effect of "Just finished watching End of Watch with the Hubs, if you love a police officer do not watch it, even if you love action movies." Now come to think of it, I think I could of been wrong about that statement. I think movies of that sort are always good for police wives or girlfriends to watch so we can see what it is like. Especially when the movie is very legit (except for one part, maybe.) Now, does my Husband experience everything that was shown in this movie. Why gracious no! But is he part of a brotherhood that loves his coworkers and will go to extordinary meausres for his people, of course he is.

Jake Gyllenhaal did an absolute amazing job playing the role of an officer as well. Thumbs up to these guys for this movie.

If you click here it will take you to YouTube to view the trailer for the movie.

Baby Bryar Chuckles

This video can make any bad day turn good and makes my heart melt into a million pieces.

I love this little guy and our special moments together.

2012 NICU Reunion

Last Sunday, on 9-9 our family attended the NICU reunion along with my sister and her baby Trace. As most of you may remember Trace was born 7 weeks early very unexpectedly on my birthday, and spent 2 weeks in the NICU. The week that Trace went home from the NICU, I went into labor with Bryar and we spent the next 20 days there.

During the boys stay we came in contact with some of the most wonderful nurses on this planet. One nurse in particular that we had such a wonderful friendship with is named George. He was the most kind, gentle, and carefree individual in the NICU. When my sister first told me about the different nurses, I was all like "George? Are you kidding me?" but she was not kidding. We felt so close to George that we even sent him a Christmas card last December. Hopefully, it was not to weird (haha), we wanted him to see our family and how well Bryar was doing.

As we entered the reunion we saw a lot of the nurses that I had become close to over the time that we spent there. Each of them are SO sweet and special to us in their own way. One nurse that cared for Bryar as much as George did, is now expecting her second child. She was the nurse that was on Bryar's watch while I was giving him a bottle, and he started to reflux then his feeding tube came out of his belly and throw is mouth. Ah, it was awful! I think she is one of the most special women to me out of the entire hospital although she probably has no idea how wonderful she is.

We were finally able to see George when he came down from the nursery. He was quickly surrounded so it is easy to see that Mr. George is a very loved and well thought of nurse. All in all it was such a please to see him and to be able to catch up with him before having to leave. He did mention to Curtis that he was thinking about retiring. I pray that he does not, being that the chances of us having another preemie baby are very likely. Although, we do not know what is in store for our family in the future. George did tell Curtis that he had hoped that we would be there and that was one of the reasons that he came down from the nursery to see the guests. He also loved B's huge smile and said that he can tell that "he lives a great life" from his personality and he knew that he would never have to worry about him. I am pretty sure that this made Curtis fell ten feet tall, in fact I know it did and it made me feel the same.

Yesterday was NICU nurses day and although I had thought to take our NICU staff treats like got in the way. If you know a NICU nurse or any "hero" for the matter, be sure to tell them thank you because you never know how far a thank you can go!

Making Daddy Proud!

I am pretty sure that this was one of Curtis' most proud moments of being a Daddy thus far. It may not seem like much to us women but there was a twinkle in my Hubby's eyes as he saw his boy go to town on his first steak.

...yea, I just went all redneck and stuff blogging a photo of my son eating his first steak. I have become THAT Mom!

No YOU Cry It Out.

Has anyone ever said that Motherhood is hard? Yes, I know. No one ever shares the real nitty gritty dirty truth. But I will.

This stuff is like a slap in the face some days. Then again, some days it makes my heart skip a gazillion beats. At times I wonder how I ever made it past my single days with Charli or how I will ever make it out of my sleepless year of Bryar. I have struggled in the deepest hole to been the happiest lady in the world. This is a rollercoaster of emotions and work, yet men still ask us why we are emotional? Come on now...

For the last many (because I truly cannot remember how long it has been) I have been working with Bryar on getting him to sleep through the night as well as being able to calm himself down. Some nights we have a great routin of:

-Rocking with night bottle of 8 oz. (some nights with cereal - it does not matter, he still wakes)
-Laying him down
-He wakes up
-I let him CIO for at least 10 minutes if not longer - but I do calm him in the process
-Then I rock him for less than 2 minutes and he is o.u.t

Most nights when I go back into calm him he is sweating like crazy, practically shaking, one night his pants were at his ankles and two times lately he has thrown up in the floor. Really? This is nothing like anything that I ever experienced with Charli. The first time I was really just baffled by it and had Curtis to calm him while I cleaned it up. But last night, I couldn't help but to almost laugh at the fact that this boy just needs to snap out of it, before Mommy snaps out of her sanity. (not kidding kidding.)

Then tonight Charli was worried about a dream that she had a month ago were I was shot and killed. Horrible, I know! But she was fine and then suddenly she threw up out of nowhere. Luckily, she made it to the bathroom. Is this how it is going to go? We all get upset and throw up around here. Hopefully not and hopefully she is completely fine but for now I am going to go take a hot bath and smile at the fact that both kiddos are asleep and I do not hear any crying. I win tonight.

Anyone out there?

It seems as if half of the bloggers that I follow on my dashboard are no longer blogging or have not in quite sometime. If you are a reader please let me know if you are still blogging, so I can be sure to follow you!

While your here, let me tell you about a great blog that is hosting an awesome giveaway!

Molly, from Stilettos and Diapers reviewed some lingerie from Vanity Fair recently. At first when I read "Not yo Mama's lingerie" I was expecting something va-va-voom! Then I saw it was Vanity Fair and to be honest I was quite pleased, because I have tried their products before and loved them. I am all about comfort, support and AFFORDABLE! Along with the review Molly is hosting a $100 visa gift card from Blogher...obviously this is the va-va-voom in my eyes ;)

Go check her out and enter :)

Happy Birthday!

Happy 1st birthday to my nephew Trace! :)

It is such a blessing to be your aunt and to share our birthdays!

...that's right I am the big
2-5 today..yikes.

Remembering all of the victims of 9-11 today as well.

I would post on where I was 11 years ago but to be honest that is so very small and inadequate to all of the lives and love lost that day.

I pray that our country continues to grow stronger and in God's name during this rememberance.

Pizza Casserole

One of my favorite easy dishes for a quick supper is Pizza Casserole. A church member brought this to our family after coming home from the NICU with Bryar and I quickly emailed her asking for the reciepe because it was SO good for as simple as it was!

Ingredients:

1 can of pillsbury crescent rolls

1 bag of shredded cheese

1 jar spaghetti sauce

Any toppings you prefer: Pepperonis, mushrooms, onions, etc.

1- 1.5 lb hamburger meat

Brown hamburger meat (I add onions but you can do whatever you prefer), drain meat and add spaghetti sauce. I do not use the entire jar, only because it makes it a little to "runny" if you do, {but hey to each our own right ;) }

In a 13 x 9 baking dishes, sprinkle a layer of cheese on the bottom, then layer with your meat and whatever toppings you may want to add in, then add another layer of cheese. Afterwards, roll out your crescent rolls to add on top. Make sure to pinch the seams together so that it is somewhat smooth. ( Honestly, I know nothing about smooth; s ee above photo for an example. If it tastes good, then great but looks..whatev.)

Bake for 20 mins on 350

Enjoy :)

The Life of a Pig Tailed Drama Queen

One would think that with the title of this post and the photo that is being shown with it is enough and would describe my daughter perfectly. But no, this girl is so much more. She is spunky, sweet at times, sassy at others, funny always, a mini adult, shy, yet loud when she gets to know you and a cowgirl, but also a couch potato. She really is the all around girl.


She drives us crazy with her words some days, yets makes us laugh uncontrobably with her accent, personailty, and the looks on her face. If there has ever been a kid that is more like her (non-biological) Father it would be Charli Beth. She may not make sense to him often but they make me giggle as I see them speak to each other, because it is truly like a mirror relfecting off of one another.

She is as smart as a tack, yet homework makes both of heads spin. Her teacher just loves her to "pieces" and I am pretty sure that everyone who comes in contact with her does as well, especially her "little buddy" Bryar. CB is truly the best big sister that I could of ever dreamed of her being. She makes sure he is okay if he falls down, lets him pull her hair even though it is completely unneccassary, and gives him all of the love that she has experienced herself. I have prayed that the drama zone would stay clear from their relationship, although during snack time today she was screaming "MOM, HE IS YELLING AND HITTING ME TO EAT MY FOOD! HE CANNOT EAT MY FOOD. NO LIL BUD, NO NO NO!" Ahh.

Even though my dramatic girl may be full of it at home, she must be very good at school. Charli was picked to be the Student Leader of the Month. She was so excited and recieved a certificate, which of course made her feel even better about it and yes we had to have a dance party in the living room. But even though she is totally all girl, I love her to pieces and I could never imagine my Charli Beth to be any other way than the little drama queen that she is.

Bryar is 11 months already?!

Why does time have to fly by so fast when our babies are little? It seems like a blink of an eye and we are right back here on the 5th of every month blogging new milestones and weight goals. Can I please just hit pause for a while? I need my baby to stay a baby and my so called "big girl" to stay as spunky as she is. Baby Bryar will always be baby Bryar. I could care less if he is 16 and friends are picking on him, my baby is my baby.

Even though the month has flew by, we have accomplished many new milestones. Minus walking of course. It is quite funny that his doctor along with everyone else thought he would walk before he crawled or that he would skip crawling all together. The boy can run like no other, on all fours that is. He is a fast little fella! Even though he is not walking just yet, we are so close in the final steps leading up to walking; holding on to furniture while walking along.

He has picked up clapping and loves to clap at Charli's softball games. He awake from his naps just to sit up and clap with the crowd. He sure is a ham when people start noticing him too.

Waving "bye bye" has recently become a new trick that he loves to show off.
Not to mention that trips out to eat are becoming non-existent since B loves to scream like an exorcist until he gets a bite of whatever we are eating. He is only on similiac advance for bottles (as well as his love for water) and he takes 8 oz at a time.

He is still wearing most 9 month clothes and recently went to size 3 pampers. I do still rock him to sleep but typically he will fall asleep then wake up and cry for a while before i rock him again. It is defiantly a night time routine for us. Our major milestone of this month was that he started sleeping through the night! YES! You read that correctly! He may wake up every now and then but this is golden compared to where we were!!

We are actually attending a NICU reunion this Sunday. Our family is very excited to go back and thank all of the wonderful people that helped our family during the first weeks of Bryar's life.

Happy 11 months baby B! There is not a day that goes by that I do not thank God for blessing me with you and Charli Beth. I cannot wait to see you accomplish more milestones and even though it will be bittersweet I am excited to celebrate YOUR day a month from now. I love you :))