The Non-Sleeper

If you are not a parent of a non-sleeping child, then please pass no judgement here.

Since October 5, 2011 my body has learned to make it on little to no sleep. I have to be thankful for my dispatching days that helped me learn how to go on with life all while being exhausted. I figured at some point along this journey of being Bryar's Mother that it would become easier, and sleep would come. But to be honest, it hasn't for the most part.

Screaming like a pterodactyl at bedtime or yelling for his "Buddy" because he launches it as soon as you leave the room can last for over an hour. Actually, more than an hour. He recently even got his knee stuck in the bed rails. But thankfully, a bottle of lotion slicked that baby leg right out. At other times he just gets super ticked and throws up. Then we are in a downward spiral from there.

There have been lots of nights that he sleeps all night long. They are joyous nights. Nights that turn into mornings where I wake up smiling. They happen maybe once a week to every two weeks. Sometimes after just trying to calm him, I lean over the bed pat his bottom and he will fall right to sleep. Lately, he has come to our bed because the screams are unbearable at 2:30 in the morning. Like I said above, they are not the sweet newborn screams, it's like a pterodactyl getting stoned type of scream. So to our bed he goes, where he practically fights in his sleep. He kicks, pulls hair and sometimes even throws tantrums all in his sleep.

I'm a little at a lost of what to do with him. But I assure you, I have tried it all. All of the advice has been checked marked off. But this kid is strong willed and if Bryar isn't happy truly no one is; baby doesn't want to sleep, neither does ... Mommy.

We have lately wondered if he has sleep apnea or something else going on that makes him startle in the night like he does. But then again we could just be looking for an excuse of why our son is so good during the day but becomes slightly demonic at night.

I am leaving on Sunday for 5 nights away. I feel this hole in the pit of my stomach and I am pretty sure that hole is called guilt. I know it is not a burden for me to leave the kids for someone else to tend to for a few days but I cannot help to feel terrible over the lack of sleep. I am crossing my fingers that he will surprise us all and be a little angel baby.