Thursday, October 14, 2010

Dear Anonymous

I figured that I would go ahead and hit this on the head while it is fresh on my mind. I do not feel like I should have to explain myself to this person what-so-ever, but this blog is about honesty and some of you that have seen this comment may be wondering about the same thing that they are asking.

Anonymous said...

A few posts back you wrote about your breakup and how hard it was for your daughter. I felt very heartbroken for her when I read that post. Recently you tweeted about going out on a date with him again and I would just like to say that is the most irresponsible thing I ever heard and I lost so much respect for you when I read that. You already put your daughter through that once, what is going to happen to her when you breakup for the 10th time. You two need to grow up and stop with the on again off again relationship for the sake of your daughter. It is very irresponsible of you. Something is obviously not right with the relationship or you wouldn't have already broken up more than once.

I don't mean to be mean but as a single mom myself and the daughter of a single mom, it kills me to see women who bring guy after guy in and out of their kids life. It is so very hard on the kid. If you and this guy or any other guy are going to date, you need to keep that out of your daughters life until you are SURE it is going to last.


I would like to first and bluntly say:
If you do not like my blog or tweets..it's pretty simple, do not read them.

Since you are leaving a comment about one thing that I tweeted and one post I have written, it must mean that you are a new follower or you simply just must be blind. Mark and I dated for right around two years, so I am not bringing "some guy" around my child that she does not know. I do not date random people, I really never have because I simply have zero time for that and I do not plan to put my daughter through it. If you must know, we actually met in EMT class and Charli knew him from attending a few classes with me before him and I ever started dating.

Have you ever been in a relationship where you have experienced rocky times? Well this is exactly what him and I have been through. We are not getting back together right now and simply if we were, it would be our business. I can go to the movies with someone that I like or love without my daughter, because I am an adult and I have the right to have "me" time. Even if we do not get back together, we plan to be friends, and so far it's going pretty good. He understands me and my life better than any of my "girl" friends can because he has lived it with me for so long.

Funny thing is, who even says that him and I have broke up more than once? Charli has not been around Mark since before we actually broke up. We do still talk about him, because he loves her and she loves him. In that type of situation you cannot just cut someone from a childs life completely because that will only confuse them even more. I have seen this done with other families, and it is not what I plan to do with Charli. She has the memory of an elephant and she will never forget.

I am also the daughter of a single Mother and have seen more than you can imagine of what can go wrong in relationships. Do we ever know if a relationship is going to last? No.

If it is the most irresponsible thing that you have ever heard, then you must be very sheltered, because I could name so many other things that are much worse then this.

It is clearly impossible for me to have a relationship with someone and for them to not be apart of Charli's life. Anyone that comes into Charli's life loves her first and will always be apart of her life in someway. Just like, I could have kept Charli's Father in our lives but I chose not to for the protection of her. I loved him and kept having my heart broken with false hopes of us being a family because of his drug habits. So I left, so that she would never have to deal with the heart break that I dealt with.

I plan to keep doing my own thing, because I am me and simply Miss Anonymous you are you. We clearly have different opinions on how I should be a Mother. I will never put my precious CB into harms way and if by simply going on date with a friend (for now) while my daughter is asleep is an issue than something is terribly wrong with this world.
I would just like to add that, before you say that you have lost respect for me, know my situation and my story before you even start to judge. Every family, blog, person and relationship is different and you cannot base what I type in one day on my entire life.

12 comments:

Lizzy said...

Wow, that person is kind of heartless. To say that it's irresponsible for you have an on again off again relationship is pretty low for someone that probably doesn't even know you, especially since they don't know every little detail about your life. I'm pretty sure you know what's best for CB and the other person doesn't. I was talking to my boyfriend earlier today and said that if we ever break up and start dating other people, I'd have to be 100% sure that I'd be with that person for multiple years, not just a booty call, before my son met him.

I think Anonymous needs to grow up and read every thing that you say, not just some posts. Since when can you break up with someone and not see them again? Is there a new rule that you can't be friends with your ex anymore Ms Anonymous? Maybe you should show your true self Ms. Anonymous, because I'm pretty sure my friend Paige has been very truthful with each posting. I haven't lost any respect for you Paige, don't worry. I'll still be your friend. :)

Brittany said...

Only YOU know what is best for YOU and CHARLI! You are her mother, and by following and reading your blog for as long as I can remember you have been the best mom you could possibly be! Everyone has their opinions. Just ignore it. I have went through many "Anonymous" comments in my life, and finally I realized just to let God to the talking. You can't change someone's mind and opinion about you... but you can live for God and let him work in your life, and just pray for them that they may see it too. Keep doing what you are doing! Charli Beth is beautiful! Keep your chin up! I wouldn't even respond to this nonsense. Someone is severely jealous of you:)

Becca said...

Bogus! Apparently the Anonymous commenter does not know you very well! I can't imagine how difficult it must be to be a young, single mother. I think that you have always done a fabulous job with CB and give it ALL you've got. I don't know how you do the EMT (especially so late at night), school, and be the best mother to her that you can be. For all of those things you do to make a great life for you and CB, I've got major respect for you! I'm not exactly sure why this person even thought to open their mouths about bringing men around CB. From my understanding, CB wasn't even involved the other night! AND since when can you not be friends with your ex?
What I think is pretty immature is that this person commented as Anonymous. If you are grown woman with concerns then she should have emailed you and addressed them privately!

heather g said...

Only you know whats best for you and Charli.Although i don't talk to you a lot or know much I know that u are a great mother and I'm sure you are making the best decisions.there is nothing wrong with still being friends or going to movies while C.B. was sleeping that person seems to have some issues and sheltered or something.and your right every relationship,and person is different.just keep doing what works for you. :)

Ginger said...

I am so sorry that persons words hurt you. People can say the most hurtful things. All you can do what is best for you and your precious girl. I would just ignore their rude comment. Everyone always has something to say about someone else's life and can't look at themselves and see their own faults. Hugs!!

Mrs. Pick said...

I am so sorry that someone so insensitive left such a nasty comment. I think your response was great; however, I hate that you had to even explain yourself on your own blog! This person needs to mind their own business and butt out of yours!

Ivana Clay said...

Hey girl, I have to say reading this brought tears to my eyes! Mostly because this person obviously must not know you in the "real world"!!! I do and I think it is important for people to know the background of a situation before they start to judge! You are such a great mom and daughter and friend. You always put Charli first and since I have known you Mark has been the only guy that I can think of in your life. Not "guy after guy" as Anonymous says! You weren't like most girls these days and shacked up together after just a few weeks/months of dating. You always have put Charli's emotions and the impact that it will have on her first and foremost. Just because this person made assumptions based on stupidity is a sorry excuse to attack someone! Know your facts before you begin to make such criticisms. And for that matter don't forget what the Bible says "Let he that is without sin throw the first stone." I know I sure can't slinging rocks. What about you anonymous????!!!

((HUGS))

The Wife said...

People are ridiculous! This person obviously doesn't have a life or she wouldn't be so involved in your life. You and Charlie look like you are doing fine. Keep your head up and don't let this person get to you. She is probably just jealous you have a date and you are so cute! Ha!

Elizabeth said...

Wow. People like that KILL ME. I have several people in my life who assume, and like to base their opinions on something they see, and think. I could go on and on, but I'm gonna sum it up in one sentence. YOU do what makes YOU and CHARLI happy..no one has any right to judge, condemn...or whatever. It's y'alls life. ARGGGGH...People kill me!

Kristin said...

I don't thank you could have said that any better!!!

Amy said...

It amazes me that there are people out there with these STRONG opinions, yet they aren't willing to share their name or life with you! I'm so sorry you have to deal with anonymous comments. They are THE worst bc you feel like you can never REALLY defend yourself. BUMMER! Keep on, keepin on. I admire single moms so much!

A Love Worth Waiting For.... said...

People can be SO mean!! Daniel and I were brutally attacked about our adoption and our adoption fund. I feel the same way you do--if you don't like what I write about then don't read my blog!! Some people have nothing better to do than to sit around judging others!! I'm sorry you also had to go through this. As much as I tried to just push it out of my head and ignore the "anonymous" comments, they still hurt!

Hope you have a good weekend!

Story of Mommy

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I am a sinner saved by the grace of God. A wife to the 5oh, and Mother to Charli Beth and Bryar. This is my story of Motherhood, life experiences and sometimes even my overwhelming heart all typed out. I believe in second chances, yet the firm hand of parenting. That sweet tea is of the comfort food category. Chickens belong in every backyard. Children should each have a responsibility of their own while helping take care of duties in the home. Sports are a must for our family, and we spend many nights on courts or fields. We consistently feel new to each of the experiences that are brought into our lives. But we are always excited for the journey in which God has given us.

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