And She Does it, Again.

On Friday night we were on our way to dinner, and Charli starts asking questions. You know, the type of questions that make you cringe, swear and your heart sink to your toes? She is really good at those. As she is getting older and starting to realizes the differences in family members and her school friends, she asked me if I had two Dad's growing up.

Gulp.

I've tried to avoid this questions. Because I know soon after this question, the question of her own will arise. Which is probably an okay discussion but I plan to avoid it until I feel neccassary. 

So I tried to talk my way out if it, which obviously did not work. She explained to me that she has a friend who has a step brother, and she remembers that I met my sister last year. 

Darn.

"Yes, I do have two Dad's kind of. But my "real" one has not ever been in my life."

"well, Mom if I knew him I would just explain to him how he needs more experience then he would see how great kids really are."

Haha. "He just isn't a man that would care, Charli. He mainly just cares about himself from what I know and because of that it makes me not care about him at all."

"That is not how Jesus loves us and wants us to love others."

Yea. Really? A conviction, guilt trip and hilarious laughter all into one. How does she do it? How is she able to convict me at seven?

This conversation did make me think, and I know she is right. But just because she is right does not mean that I am wrong too. Do you I love him for his failure of being a parent to my siblings and I? No. Will I ever? Never. But do I understand that people fail others and themselves on a constant basis. Yes. 

I cannot say that I will ever not dislike him and if she wants to dislike her biological Father, I will not hender her from doing so. This may or may not be the incorrect way of parenting or being a Christian but wow, I simply just cannot justify love in this one.