Tuesday, September 16, 2014

The Bad "C" Word.

In 27 years I have always felt blessed to not have known someone personally that has been affected by cancer. I have known of people, I've prayed for others and I have heard of thousands of different cases. But three weeks ago, my 27 year count came to a close when my Dad was diagnosed.

It has felt like a grieving process that we have been going through. I believe that I am grieving that this man, this good, heart of gold man is having to go through a testimony that I wish no one would ever have to experience. I've been sad, I've cried on a playground full of preschool friends as my Mom called to keep me updated with results. I've cried to God in confusion, and in anger. 

Yet the hardest moment I've endured has been crying, arms in arms with my eight year old daughter on her bed. To have to explain to her that her Pa, who we lived with for her first five years of life has "the bad c word." To have to explain to her the unknown and how we cannot let that effect our attitudes or control our lives was gut wrenching to me as a parent. Her attitude and maturity that night was such a blessing to me. As I explained how we cannot let the bad thoughts of "the bad C word" control our lives she states to me a quote that she once heard. 

To see her mind become positive after we prayed, cried and just held one another while talking was such a blessing to me. It is comforting having a young innocent spirit to keep my mind in place as well. 

My Mom has been more than amazing during these last three weeks. Her strength has out poured for her Husband and us as well. This is her one true love and to say that she needs prayers during this time is an understatement as well. 

In closing, I would ask that each of you prayer for my Dad, (Tim.) We recieved the phone call today that it is stage III rectal cancer that is within his lymph nodes. The doctor did visualize something within his bladder during the MRI that seems concerning as well - she will be setting them up with a urologist. The oncology appointment should be made by Thursday and they have told him to expect six weeks of chemo with radiation, then surgery then chemo again. 

This is difficult and has changed his spirits a bit from wanting to make sure that he is able to provide for his family. My Dad is a truck driver and this time off work will dramatically change their livelihood. Yet, I know that The Lord will make these means work. 

It is such a difficult process even just as his child to watch and listen to the details of. It's hard to speak about it and not feel an extereme amount of guilt for some reason. I have not spoke to a great deal of friends because I just do not have the words. To say that he doesn't deserve this experince is so, cliche because of his heart of gold yet I just keep telling my self that over and over. 

I know who is in charge, and my comfort lies there. 

Please pray. 

My Baptism

 To say how beautiful this afternoon was, would truly be an understatement. Since I was saved at an early age in life, it has always been my personal want to be baptized within a creek. My family and close friends were in attendance, the weather was great and the moment was more than perfect. 

I suppose you can say that I am a little old school when it comes to my faith. I love old gospel hymns and I love strong preachings that leave you thinking for the rest of the day. Those are the moments in church that I always remember. The days that pondered on quotes and the notes I've written based on what I got from a sermon. 

I suppose this is the reason that a creek baptism was a must for my announcing of faith. 

Could their be anymore of a sweet moment in life that my husband and children watching upon this? I can only pray that this day touched Charli's heart. 

The farm is so beautiful and hearing the men's choir sing It Is Well With My Soul, made me want to run to the water to be the first. Yet I waited patiently and almost nervous as the third person to be baptized. 

(Only nervous that I would float away and be the only person ever to drown during a baptism. Ha!) 

The water was so cold and I may have squealed a bit when first going under. All I could think about was how amazing it was to come straight up and seeing the sunset through the creekside. It was truly an unforgettable moment. 

I joined our church that morning as I had finished the membership process and interview with the pastor. It's a wonderful feeling being a member of a church that Curtis has attended since birth. 

This church has grown to huge depths over the years and we now feel comfortable in our church home with my "new" church family. Yet in saying new, I also feel that it is given that I should always say that I will never leave my love or family from my previous church. 

Drakes Creek
It Is Well With My Soul.

A little bit of Summer.

This Summer has been wonderful yet very short lives it seems. I continued keeping children in home throughout the week so most of our days were spent here. We had many days of playing outside and learning the tricks of gardening. 

We also spent some days of sickness. At the beginning of Summer Curtis, Bryar and Charli Beth all caught the stomach bug. How I missed it I have no idea? Then at the end of June all three caught a terrible viral throat infection. It was miserable and lasted for days for each. Their throats were swollen or blistered like I had never seen before. The temperatures lasted for days as well. How I missed out this one I'm not sure either but boy was I thankful! 

Kentucky has had some incredibly strange temperatures. We've got the highest temps to even now record lows. While Charli was recovering from her throat illness I took Bryar out to play in the back yard. His favorite thing is to run naked but playing in the little pool made it even more fun. 

Our Summer is now coming to a close and we have big changes for our family ahead. 

Story of Mommy

My photo
I am a sinner saved by the grace of God. A wife to the 5oh, and Mother to Charli Beth and Bryar. This is my story of Motherhood, life experiences and sometimes even my overwhelming heart all typed out. I believe in second chances, yet the firm hand of parenting. That sweet tea is of the comfort food category. Chickens belong in every backyard. Children should each have a responsibility of their own while helping take care of duties in the home. Sports are a must for our family, and we spend many nights on courts or fields. We consistently feel new to each of the experiences that are brought into our lives. But we are always excited for the journey in which God has given us.

Email Me!

--If you have any questions or just want to chat, feel free to email me! @ paigeleana@yahoo.com --


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