Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Not All Heroes Wear Capes

It is a very obvious factor that I stand behind the thin blue line. Not because I married an officer but because I see each one of you. I see your hard work, your underpaid jobs, the stress, the passion and the courage it takes to step out in your uniform each day. 

We have now become a nation that wants officers to have a "softer look" and a "non-warrior like" mindset. It makes my head spin at the issues that our government is putting into brains of cowards. The blood on their hands, that they do not want to account for. The praises of "bad guys" and the discouragement of officers. It literally makes me furious. 

The #WeSeeYou campagian was started to show officers that we support them. That we see their departments facing turmoil and even grieving in the deaths of their partners.

During National Police Week I decided to host a rally in support of police. It was quickly put together and within one week, we were standing as a group holding signs in honor of the Thin Blue Line. 

I was told by a friend that people that hold signs are, "stupid." 

I wish to say that it made me mad. But it didn't. It made me sad. Sad for the fact that people do not understand the cause. That we are families watching the news closely when an officer goes down. That we are checking Joe Imel anytime our spouse doesn't answer. We sit lonely at dinner tables because the bad guy is getting their time, rather than us. 

We're in America. The country who seems to be screaming for a war against police. It's scary, it's sad and it's disrespectful in too many ways to mention. 

My day spent out in this intersection was anything but stupid. 

Because it isn't just about holding a sign. It's about the love, that is shining through. The courage it takes to step out and say, I stand behind the Thin Blue Line. The smiles you get as someone passes by, nodding their head like, "Finally, someone cares. They see law enforcement for the good." It's about the man who held up traffic to show my kids his badge and give them a thumbs up. It's the moments that make you smile, because you know you made another human smile in a 10 second period as they drove by. 

We may be few yet it's full of encouragement to stand next to police wives, family, friends and even people I do not know. To show we care and will always be standing firm in the honor of the men and women who serve our streets. 

We honor our husbands, who work odd shifts. The officers who are cursed at, fought, and shot in the middle of the streets. The women who never make it home to their children because a coward had the simple excuse that he, "didn't want to go back to prison." 

It's tough some days to send my husband off into the streets to a country of hatred for servants that protect. It nerve wracking to say the least as I read tweets, and know that he is in harms way. But every night he makes it home, I thank God for the chance to love him another day. 

Dear officers, #WeSeeYou 

National Police Week 2015 

Saturday, May 9, 2015

Passion(s) of Motherhood

Growing up I always knew that I wanted to be a Mommy. I've always wanted four children and to this day my hopes are still there. I wanted to give someone love, and provide the neccasties of life for them. I never in a million years thought that I would become a {single} Mom at the age of 18. I was scared yet hopeful and excited. I wasn't sure if I was fit to be a Mother at such a young age. It was scary but even more scary when a doctor told me that I should consider adoption. My heart sank at the realization that someone else thought I may be incapable. So, just as I in my prideful spirited ways choose to do, I proved them wrong.

Not because I wanted that sastisfaction but because I knew I could love. I knew that my heart was full of so much love and passion for something but I just never knew what until I held my baby girl in my arms. 

She was amazing and beautiful. She was exactly what my life needed in that very moment. For the next five years, I provided and nourished a child in every possible way that my Motherly heart knew how. It may be prideful of me but at this time in my life, I can look back on that part of my life and call it a blessing. 

I needed her as much as she needed me. She was a gift from God, that pulled me back into a reality that I had lost so long before. Her blonde waves and adult like language pulled the strength from me that I never knew was possible. She taught me to be more patient and to love with all I have. Her innocent heart taught me to be more curtious and kind. She taught me what life was all about, all while I was trying to give her one.

As the years passed and I found the man who became my Husband. Things changed and we added a new addition into our family. This time it was different, but in a good way. My world still revolves around my children. But my new passion, is my Husband. I do not play this role as easily as I once hoped I would. Although, I am becoming more certain that we called to love our Husbands first and our children second. It's a hard bit to chew on, but the more that I strive to surround him with love the better my Motherly roles play out. The snuggles in bed may last for what seems like forever somedays. The never ending wrestling matches may go on for hours. The PonyElla book that I've been reading for 4 years may get old. But as I think about the days when our children are grown, and are in their path of marriage I pray they can look back to the example I have led for them. That is what is most important to me. 

I strive to be a Godly spouse and Mother. Yet, I could never in a million years even come close to saying I'm near perfection in that aspect. Although, I do know where my heart lies and that is in the glory of his name. Somedays, I feel as if I can just make it through the day without being hateful or crude I am doing well. Then others I think to myself how can I show my children how to be a good parent and spouse. I want them to see that they can play both roles equally, and both roles just as fabously. 

I want my daughter to see that I can give her and her brother love while I am loving their Father. I want Bryar to see how a wife should be, so he remembers as he searches for his own. Charli may be young but the girl hears and sees all around her. She takes it to heart and I pray that while she may be eavesdropping, she takes in the amount of time that I give to each of them in each role of my life. That my days are spent loving, providing and nourishing as Mother but they are also spent showing my children how a Wife loves her Husband. 

This Mother's Day I can truly say that I am overly blessed. My family is coming closer together. Our union is in a precious stage and for that I am incredibly grateful.

As a Mother, I'm not sure I can feel anymore blessed than that alone. 

This Mother's Day I would like to say thank you to all women who make a difference in someone's life. You each play an amazing role in caring, loving and supporting. Thank you for loving when it's easy and most of all when its hard. Thank you for simply being you, and as unique as you are. We need more of YOU in our world. Take this day to relax, and reflect on the Mother you are or even have been this past year. 

This is your day and I pray it's full of sweet blessings. 

Story of Mommy

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I am a sinner saved by the grace of God. A wife to the 5oh, and Mother to Charli Beth and Bryar. This is my story of Motherhood, life experiences and sometimes even my overwhelming heart all typed out. I believe in second chances, yet the firm hand of parenting. That sweet tea is of the comfort food category. Chickens belong in every backyard. Children should each have a responsibility of their own while helping take care of duties in the home. Sports are a must for our family, and we spend many nights on courts or fields. We consistently feel new to each of the experiences that are brought into our lives. But we are always excited for the journey in which God has given us.

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--If you have any questions or just want to chat, feel free to email me! @ paigeleana@yahoo.com --


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