I Met My Half Sister Thanks To My Blog

Yes, it happened. The girl that I was just speaking of last week in a post. I am stunned to learn of people who read my blog and others who wait for me to post. Sometimes blogging feels like work lately but I am thankful for things on my hear that I type out on here. Because of a post on my heart, it lead Jessica to wanting to surprise my sister and I with a trip to Kentucky to meet us.

It has been 24 years since I met her. So obviously, I do not remember it. We have been Facebook pals for a few years now but when my Mom let go of the secret I was ecstatic! But as every worry wary would, I got a knot in my stomach of the worries about what we would talk about or compare.

Who am I kidding though?! Jessica was so talkative, sweet and funny! As soon as she walked through the door we all were hugging, laughing and talking like we were old friends, rather than long lost sisters. It was so nice to be able to sit down with her for two days in a row to talk about our families, our lives and how we think of the man who was suppose to be a Father to us.

The second day we made plans to go to The Paint n' Place for a fun trip. It was so funny to see how cool, calm and creative she was with her piece - just like my older sister was. I on the other hand was an awful mess and stressing about each mark. What can I say, I would be a perfectionist, if I could just get it perfect ;)

I cannot thank her and her Mother enough for making this trip. My heart is so full of love and happiness to have been able to meet her. I am ecstatic for the next days we have together!!

The First Of Many

Yesterday afternoon, we experienced Bryar's first busted lip. It was a scary moment for my Mommy heart. But I should of been prepping my self for this a long time ago. Bryar is a climber. He isn't just the typical baby that likes to climb on the couch. I catch him on the dining room table, the computer the kid table, end tables. My days are spent pulling him down and having the "no climbing talk."

While keeping other littles yesterday, I have them all afternoon snacks and went to use the restroom. Even though my trip was quick, it was still enough time for him to climb on my storage bench, and somehow fall. As I heard them tumble an Charli running to him, I quickly made y appearance to give him snuggles but noticed the bottom of his mouth was full of blood. If you are a Mom, I am sure you know that my heart dropped. Not because I cannot do blood - I am a former EMt. But because he is my little!

After a frantic phone call next door to my SIL Amanda to watch the other kids I cleaned him up. He thankfully sucked on ice that made the swelling go down.

Thankfully, the swelling and bruising is much better this morning. Now on to keep him off of tables and benches.

The Cowboy Rides Away

Over the weekend Curtis and I traveled to Lexington to see George Strait in concert. Curtis is a huge fan and really wanted to attend the concert. Thankfully, with the help of my Mom I was able to surprise him with tickets at Christmas! On our way up to Lexington on I-65, we ended up sitting in stand still traffics for around 3 hours. If you know Curtis and I we are a very inpatient couple. After learning that six people died in two accidents and a couple in critical condition, we were so thankful for God's timing. One of the victims in the accident is Kellie Pickler's drummer, he is still in critical condition.

We thankfully made it to Lexington in enough time to freshen up and head to Rupp arena. If you are not a fan of George Strait, then obviously you're not American. Simple as that. This ole' cowboy is such a stud, and knows it. He has formed and shaped country music for 31 years. So all 22,000 fans in the stadium young and old have loved country music thanks to him. Martina McBride as the opening act and her voice is as incredible as it is on the radio. She is the cutest little thing.

During the concert they also gave a wounded warrior a new home, $500 of groceries from Walmart a month for a year and also a new tv. To day the least, I lost it. The crowd chanting "USA" and seeing this warriors emotions. George Strait also sang all of his oldie but goodie songs, which we loved! Curtis said on numerous occasions how it was the best concert he had attended. Which of course made my night a million times better!

Sadly, I let my camera/phone die before going in. I guess that is what 3 hours of traffic does to me.

My life v.s. Parenthood

I have been watching Parenthood for maybe a month during my "lunch" while the kiddos are asleep. Believe it or not I have made it to Season 3, and am between episodes at the moment. There are so many things about this show that I like and some that I stare at my netflix like what the heck. For an example, Hattie and the way she speaks to Adam and Christina. My Mom would have back handed me, and I would think about doing the same to Charli Beth. It's just unacceptable. But I do love their love for one another. How this family is all so different yet they still love and connect with one another.

While watching the show the past few days while Seth is in recovery and Amber (his daughter) is trying to figure out how to love him, it hit me hard. I actually sat down ate a few oreos with milk and cried. No lie, the oreos made me feel better. But I started thinking at the end of the episode when Seth gives Amber all of the birthday cards from the years that he missed, how nice of a gesture that is. But that pain can never be taken away, even with a gesture of such.

Most of the people that I know in real life, have heard at some point that I do not know my real Father. Just as Charli does not. Have I felt major issues about this while growing up? Yes and no.

I have tried to figure out how a man can go without seeing his children for so long, and honestly not care about them at all. I remember when I was little and thinking that my "Dad" would at least call on my birthday, but it never came. Or that when I was 4 at the park (which was the last time he came to see us)he said he would see us soon but never tried again. I have had a support system and a man to fill the role as Father. As the memories of the once upon a time suppose to be Dad faded, I have come to terms with it more and more - just as I know Charli will as she grows up.

Some poeple think it is strange that I have half brothers and sisters that I have never met. I can admit that I think it is strange too. Although, it is not my fault or theirs. If it were up to me, I would help fill the hole of the worthless man we all share as a Father. I have indeed made contact with one through Facebook. We have not met in real life, but I hope she knows that I would love to make the connection with her one day.

It truly is quiet amazing how people can be so careless. I will never understand it. When my "Dad" was in jail 30 minutes from my home for never paying child support on my sister and I. Even though I was given the option, I never went to see him.Why waste my time, even though I wonder if I look like him? Why should I try to care about a man that has never thought to care about me?

These questions will always be in my heart. I thought he had died from a tornado in his area two years ago; a man with the same name and age was killed. I called to check at the local police department to see if it was him, but after a few days they called back to let me know it was not. During that time I wondered if I would be sad, or if I would attend the funeral all while wanting to punch him.

To this day I still have no sympathy for this man. I will never forgive him for the holes he has left in our lives. I will never respect him by giving him the time of day. If I do attend his funeral when the time comes, it will be only to see what he looks like and to grieve over the fact that he was not man enough to be the man he should of been all of our lives.

So I understand where Amber is coming from. Parenthood has had this tricky way of capturing my heart. For the longest time I did not think I would like this show. But now it is making me do some soul searching of my own, and helping me figure out why I have always felt this way. So thank you to the producers and screen writers of this show. You have captured me.

Charli Lost Her First Tooth!

We have been going through the first tooth loose woes for sometime now. All of the other kids were loosing teeth but Charli's were staying strong. I had to remind her and myself that she was late getting her teeth in. She was 11 months when her first two finally popped up.

The bottom left became wiggly, we waited for weeks it seemed like. Then finally on Thursday night with a little help it came out! She was SO proud and had to call everyone we knew!

Mrs. Tooth Fairy left her a $5 bill under her pillow. Which brought on the topic between Curtis and I of how much the Tooth Fairy should actually leave. What do you think?

My Husbands Wife

So there is this woman that is told that she needs to be a little more feminine when it comes to guns and/or protecting her babies. She has said it a million times that she has zero fear in taking the life of someone who tries to harm the ones that she loves. I personally think she is pretty cool. But what do I know? Ha! Sometimes this comes across with the approach that I never have fear while my husband is at work. Which is absolutely incorrect.

Do I have faith that he can handle a situation? Most definitely. Would I expect him to take a shot if it depended on his life, one of his brothers in blue, or someone else's? Yes. I give praise to the men who never second guess these decisions. When they do, it worries the fire out of me.

But one thing that will never change is my worry for him. When he calls just to tell me he loves us, or about a call he just experienced I feel a knot in my stomach. Not that I will go into any details but yesterday was one of those experiences. This person had no fear in taking my husbands life. Which just to be honest pisses me off to high heavens. How dare this subject be so okay with taking his life for no reason other than doing his job. Officers are not out to personally "get" people, they are there to do their job. I will just never understand our world of jack legs who think a few nights in jail is worth precious blood of our officers. Last night after helping Curtis clean uniform items up he thanked me. My only response was thank you for staying alive. It seems utterly ridiculous to say this but truly I thankful for his safety.

I stand firm in my belief of gun rights. Because I truly know that no matter what laws or what anyone says guns and other weapons will always be in the hands of crazy. For this I ask that you as mothers and wives become aware of the weapons in your home, and educate yourself. We never know the timing or place where an incident may occur. They do not always have to be on duty for someone to think they have the upper hand.

Daddy Daughter Dance 2013

There is truly nothing in the world anymore sweet than watching your daughter get fancy to go dance with her Daddy. My Mom helped with her hair - because let's just be honest she is fabulous at it and I can barely do a pony tail. We even allowed her to wear a tiny but of make up. Boy, did she think she was something.

When Curtis came in from work, she go until she was fully ready to leave. It was honestly hysterical how she had to be announced to come in. She loves for everyone to "Ooo" and "Awww" at her but what girl doesn't?! From what I was told the dance was very nice and little girls were dancing everywhere. They pretty much only stayed until after the cha cha slide then went out for dinner together.

Everyday I am thankful for the man who has come into our lives to be a wonderful Daddy to Charli Beth. I have said it a million times but I can never say it enough of how grateful I am for him and the love they share.

Valentines Day Recap

I am a little late on this post. But what is new since Bryar Wayne arrives to our family, over 16 months ago. I wonder if I will ever get back into the swing of things? Hopefully so.

Valentines Day was extremely low key for us this year. Curtis and I did not exchange gifts and counted out weekend getaway as our gift to one another. Which I actually liked. I am not a flowers type of girl. Roses? They smell awful and I am not a fan of chocolate unless it is brownies. I know, it isn't normal...

I did make Charli and Curtis a "Book of Love Coupons." Charli's had daddy or mommy date nights, family game night, tickets to stay up late, ice cream dates, pizza nights. Curtis' obviously will not be shared. {Haha you're welcome Mom and Amanda}

Charli wanted a Valentines box this year that was a horse! Talk about work. 3 nails, 3 box, lots of tape, hot glue and some time later I fixes her up one. She worked on the box as well but pretty much this was my gift to her. Not to toot my own horn or anything but this box was a huge hit with her whole school.

I was able to help with the craft for Charli's school party. Which I worried over forever. It seems that most crafts that seem easy are really not. I learned the hard way at Halloween. But this year I found "A message in a bottle." At first I thought that mason jars would be the great thing to use but not for kids on the bus. So instead I purchased 4 packs of "limeade juice" bottles at Dollar General for $1 each. I cleaned the bottles and let them dry for days.

Next, I printed out "I love you because..." graphics. I also purchased heart stokers for decorations on the outside and used left over yarn. Each kid wrote a note to their parents or whomever they wanted., then rolled the paper up and we tied it with the yarn. Before sliding the paper into the bottle we filled it with Hershey kisses and conversations hearts. It was actually very cute!

Charli loves me because I am "budoiful" and Curtis because he is "honsome." :) She waited to give her gift until right before she left for the Daddy Daughter Dance, which I will sharing tomorrow!

Oh, and Charli received a box of chocolates from a boy who has a "crush" on her in her class. Nooooo!!!!!!