Friday, May 25, 2012

We live in a society of "Daddy Dumbies"

This post is not directed towards anyone what-so-ever, it is a post that has been on my heart for quite some time and was just brought to my attention again recently.

"Are you my Father?"

It seems that in so many aspects of my life where I am just getting to know people as coworkers, friends or even just acquaintices I always get the look of so called "pitty" followed by the "I know this may be rude" and my heart sinks. Why you may ask. Because I know the question that is to follow. The question that I have been asked on so many occasions, the question that I should never have to answers.

"So is Charli's Dad in her life."

Why of course he is. She sees her Daddy daily. He tucks her into bed at night, kisses her on the forehead, drops her off at school in the mornings and gives her the same unconditional love that her Mommy does.

But the point of the matter is the fact that our society thinks that it is acceptable to be so rude, so heartless and naïve. I can never in my life remember a moment when I thought it was okay to ask why someone was or not in their life, or where they are now. Can you imagine the pain if you were in the situation? Because any time it is asked, it is asked FULL of complete judgment.

What if this person had passed away? And your just looking at them with judgment because you're in a situation with a child that you think does not have a "Daddy." But I am here to explain to you that you are wrong.

"Building Strong Children is easier than fixing broken men."

When the time comes and I have a talk with our child about the moment that Curtis stepped up the plate and became her Daddy. She will understand, and she will love him even more for all of the unselfish love and moments that he has given her. This is our family, not yours, and especially not yours to judge. We may be different than you, but our love is stronger than it ever has been.

So the next time you have the moment of wonder and want to ask where someone is in a child's life. Think of how you would like the question to be asked if the tables were turned.

“Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I’m not perfect and I don’t live to be. But before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands are clean.” - Bob Marley


Ali said...

I cannot believe people are rude enough to ask you that question. The Lord has blessed Charli with a true father, and that's all that matters!

Anonymous said...

It doesn't surprise me that people this day and age ask these sorts of questions. Absolutely breaks my heart that you have to deal with that, but to me you handled this wonderfully! I've been reading your blog for a while and I think your husband, has really and truly stepped up to the plate and made CB his own (which makes my heart melt). You really won't find a lot of men today to play the "daddy role" and accept another child who isn't there's. I have a younger friend who is your same shoes. I've mentioned to her a time or two to read your blog.

Erin said...

I agree with this so much.. This is your family and you have an amazing family... You are such a lucky lady to have found a man like Curtis and he is lucky to have found you and CB!

Lexie Loo, Lily, Liam & Dylan Too said...

People have no tact! CB is very lucky to have a strong male role model in her life now!

Deputy's Wife said...

I get this ALL the time with babygirl, but reversed. "So does she ever see her Mom?" "Yep, you're looking at her, but if you're talking about her egg donor, then no, she doesn't have anything to do with her." So annoying!

Tiffany said...

Charli is blessed with an amazing family! You are an amazing mommy & she has gained a great daddy! People are just rude and seriously have no filter!

Anonymous said...

I don't think i've ever loved a post more than I do this one. Well said my friend!

Story of Mommy

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I am a sinner saved by the grace of God. A wife to the 5oh, and Mother to Charli Beth and Bryar. This is my story of Motherhood, life experiences and sometimes even my overwhelming heart all typed out. I believe in second chances, yet the firm hand of parenting. That sweet tea is of the comfort food category. Chickens belong in every backyard. Children should each have a responsibility of their own while helping take care of duties in the home. Sports are a must for our family, and we spend many nights on courts or fields. We consistently feel new to each of the experiences that are brought into our lives. But we are always excited for the journey in which God has given us.

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