Time. It's all we want.

The Lord states that joy shall came in the morning, and I've been clinging to that sentence since the horrendous murder of Gabbi Doolin in November. But lately, I wonder how joy can come in such grief. 

On December 22, my Dad was admitted into the hospital for dehydration, low blood pressure and confusion. After a couple nights he began to feel well again thanks to the continuous fluids that he was receiving. While he was admitted it was also time for his PET scan, and they also completeled an MRI due to the confusion that he was having. Little did we know on Christmas Eve, the gift we were all praying for was sadly not answered.

The cancer has continued to spread inspite of the chemotherapy that he had been receiving from Sara Cannon Cancer Center. The cancer grew in numbers on both lungs and liver, with other spots becoming larger. To see the look of disappointment and hurt within your parents eyes, is more gut wrenching  than I can ever describe. Watching the tears fill their loving eyes, will never become easier. 

At this time, they are continually praying (and asking that you do as well) that his insurance is accepted into MD Anderson in Houston, Texas. If not, we just ask that a door opens somewhere for him quickly. 

Doctors are amazing, and work miracles within their steady hands daily. Although, when I hear of them giving a man that is so positive, eager, and seems to be healthy for the most part only months to live, my hope just wants to fade. 

How can months be? 

It's literally just a sickening sentence and one that makes it hard for me to even breath. 

Most of all because I am selfish and I am NOT done loving him yet. I want to continue making memories, and I want my Mom to keep her greatest love within arms reach until the grow old together.

I need my daughters first heartbreak to be from a boy and not the first man that ever loved her. 

I want my son to be able to play tackle football in the front yard for years to come. 

I dream of several inches of snow falling in Kentucky, just so he can take me out to cut donuts in the high school parking lot. 

Then to dance again, while my laughs are making us look more goofy than we already do. 

I just want more time. 

But that's the tricky part no matter how selfish that I am. No one knows how much time is really left for anyone within this world. Five months, or ten years I just hope that we can give him, and one another he best moments possible. 

I would be lying if I didn't say that I am our purely frustrated, scared, and just broken. The roller coaster of grief is hitting me like a ton of bricks the past few days. I know each of our family members have broken hearts as well because we long to continue to love, and be loved by him. So, I ask that you also pray for all of our hearts because just as much as we are hurting, he is hurting too. 

To hear his words that he isn't scared to leave this world because he knows what is ahead, is the most peaceful calming to this storm. But when the next words follow that he just hates to leave his family, because he prayed for so long for God to put us together breaks me once again. I whole heartedly agree with him, that there must be good in this somewhere, for God wouldn't have brought our family together only for heartache years after. 

I can tell you one thing from the bottom of my heart that I know is the good to come out of this family, and that's the placement he made in our lives. Without him our family wouldn't know a Fathers love, hardworking men, or even God's love. He is simply the best thing that could've happened to my sister, mother and I. For this, I am eternally grateful. 

May we each be able to take 2016 for all its worth. To see each day as new, rather than as a time clock. For the prayers to be answered, and for each of us to find the good within the world. To all of the memories that we have made with a Dad who can never be replaced, and for all of the ones that will be made in the days to come. 

Jingle the Elf of 2015

Now that we can all kick back and relax, or no longer stay awake until 1 am worrying over if the elf will fall over or not, I figured it was time to share our elf experience of 2015. 

Jingle came in with a crash landing on December 1. Which brings me to a new topic... We as parents need to come together and realize that 25 days is totally enough for this hoax, rather than starting even earlier on Black Friday (Of course special circumstances are different.) But geez, my two were SO anxious for Jingle to arrive since so and so's already had...Jingle almost crashed into the trash can rather than into our window. 

I've always been a bigger fan of the kindness and Jesus elf versions because in all reality I cannot stand threatening my children with a toy. If you cannot handle the wrath of Momma or Daddy.. That plush toy, isn't going to do anything! 

So on this day, Jingle added Googly eyes to the playroom Christmas tree along with a note that reminded the children to, "have hearts bigger than our eyes this season." 

I hope to do better with showing my children the meaning of Christmas, and even a Christ like life within 2016. 

Then of course, jingle was lazy and got stuck in the fireplace. 

Shouldn't you be counting your blessings since you're not stuck in a fireplace? 

Corny for the win. 

"Let's make something for someone." Our crafty Charli Beth loved this one. 

Parade day meant we were leaving the house at 7:30 and wouldn't arrive back until late. With all of the rushing in the morning, it was a nice reminder that He has the whole world in His hands. 

Then the lame hot air balloon was left along with a countdown to Christmas. Jingle was a trooper and hung on until the next night. 

At some point Bryar touched Jingle and before I knew what had happened Charli had him on his death bed with cinnamon on top. As you can see, things got serious but her intentions were well as she had heard through the fourth grade grape vine that cinnamon could help restore the magic within. 

Sadly, she was wrong and he had an allergic reaction. Hives are a big part of Bryar's life so it was pretty cute to see Jingle twinning with him. 

The hives knocked Jingle out of commission for a few days, which was absolutely brilliant. But once he felt better, he became a mighty morphin red power ranger and was back in action. 

His action packed morning ended very quickly as Bryar threw Woody from Toy Story at him, knocking him across the room. It broke his leg, and also Santas heart as Santa explained to him during our visit that we should be kind to everyone. 

Tic Tac Toe, only 5 more days (of school) to go!  P.S. be a good friend today! 

Don't we all need that reminder sometimes? 

Jingle became an artist and didn't impress a single soul. 

But he made up for it as he brough in a special surprise reindeer to the kids. 

We brought home our 15 baby chicks from preschool and found Jingle admiring them the next morning. 

Things became naughty towards the end of our adventures as he placed 36 Christmas tattoos all over me. Sleeping on the couch causes creepy elves to attack apparently. My Christmas joy had arrived, and Curtis just knew in his heart that he had indeed married a weirdo. 

The kids loved this oh so much, and their smiles became so contagious for all. 

Lastly, Jingle made a cake in celebration of the birth of Jesus. He left a note reminding the kids to remember the reason of the season, but to also use their manners very well. I can honestly say that they did indeed and impressed me quite a bit. 

As always we were all sad for Jingle to go, but the excitement of Santas goodies made up for it very easily. 

Until next year... 

A Chick Chick here, A Chick Chick There

Twenty-something days ago we took the plunge in preschool to do something fun and educational. You see, for state regulations we are suppose to meet a requirement of having two living things within our science center. So, we took the challenge of having more than just the big ole bunny rabbit Princess Peach. With the help of the local 4H directors, we had 23 eggs in an incubator. 

Even though the incubator was in place to be Mommy hen, my fellow partner and I felt like Mother hens as well. Our excitement was over the top. To the point that I even drove 15 minutes to her one night very late because in a panic of trying to find my school keys, I was scared of killing the babies. It was almost comical when I found the keys in my coat pocket the next day. 

Day 13, the ladies came back in to, "Candle" the eggs to see which had baby chicks. At the end of candling all 23 eggs, we sadly yet gratefully only had 3, "duds." 

What an amazing experience this was! For our preschools to see a baby chick within the egg, moving and turning was so neat. Their little oohs and ahhs, were the sweetest. 

This is a photo of how the chick looks on the inside verses the egg on the candling machine. The ladies with the extension office also left us replica eggs of how the chicks look inside each day. The nature specialist had the pleasure of opening the particular egg each morning to share with the class. It was so cute watching each child investigate the eggs in the science center each day. 

I even had the pleasure of showing a fourth grade class egg candling. The baby was much bigger on day 18, and it was wiggling all around. Of course the older kids thought it was pretty awesome as well. Our daughters felt pretty supreme to be able to show their friends how life was being "created" in a tiny egg. 

On night 20, I had to run to school to get Benadryl as Bryar was having an allergic reaction. When I peeked in on the eggs, seven were already starting to crack. 

It was literally impossible to sleep that night. I tossed and turned, then I even arrived to school an hour early to find this baby had already arrived.

That morning I almost couldn't walk away from the incubator. We all watched during the baby as five more babies arrived. When one would hatch, another would start peeping to cheer on the next, then they would peck shells to help another out. These guys know team work at birth! 

We now have 17 babies, playing in a trough for the next week. They eat, play, and sleep their day away. We've been able to play with them during center time. At other times we draw pictures of chicks, or make 3D art projects.  I am also certain that they have all been named 600 times. :) The only name that has stuck is Luna.

Isn't she/he/it beautiful? 

At the end of this week the babies will be coming home with Charli Beth and I. The hens that she received for her birthday stopped laying a few months ago. We sadly sent them to live their days with the Amish families nearby. She was okay letting go of the hens, unlike the poor Guinea pig that stole her heart. I'm thankful for a child that knows farm animals verses pets, although I'm certain we are making several chicks into pets now. They're just too cute not to! 

We will not be keeping every chick that comes home with us. We will be keeping the hens, and will return others to the farm they came from in another county. 

This honestly, has been one of the most memorable experiences within preschool. The excitement and smiles as they watch the chicks, has been an understatement of joyous. We may teach letters, and rhyming words daily, but to see the beauty of life is something they will remember forever. 

I can never say thank you enough to the UK extension office for hosting this program at our school. They have helped and cared for each baby each morning and afternoon. I hope they know just how much they are even touching the lives of tiny tiny hearts all over! 

This is Halloween, Halloween, Halloween

Halloween is completely and utterly amazing, each and every year. There is just something so immature, fun, and out of the norm to dress up and be someone we really are not. Watching smiling children run house to house with candy bags in tote and the silliest costumes intact make me smile ear to ear. This year was perfect to say the least, but then again after three costumes for myself I was ready to move on to November. 

The first costume came upon by our pets study within preschool. We decided to see if the students wanted to dress as their favorite pet for their fall party. I borrowed a costume from a teacher friend and just knew that I needed a costume to match. 

After a huge fail of trying to dye clothing items. Which completely embarrassingly turned neon green rather than yellow, I could only praise God that they were yard sale items. So the next day I quickly headed to Goodwill. In no time, I had a costume.

I made the hat, tie and leg cuffs from felt I purchased on sale. All in all, this was a fun costume. Most importantly Bryar loved it, including all of the funny looks I received in he car rider line. 

The next day we had dress up for our last day of Red Ribbon Week. The teacher that I work with and I wanted to do a pair costume. We couldn't really play out good cop, bad cop so we went the wicked witch and Glenda the good. This was once again, another fun day. The kids loved our witches and my crown as well.

Then Halloween day, finally arrived. Can I just vote that Halloween will forever be on a Saturday? It was so stress free and fun to be able to relax and not rush all over two counties.

We relaxed all morning before heading to our church Harvest Festival. A few years ago they turned the Harvest Festival into an outreach service and it's so much fun for the kids. 

Bryar desperately needed a nap or maybe he just dislikes being that baby brother who dresses up to pair with big sister! Haha! I just keep crossing my fingers that we have a few more years of this fun. 

Cinderella and her little mouse friends were so cute. I made Bryar's ears and mine as well. Being Gus Gus and Jaq to our beautiful Cinderella became more and more fun throughout the night. 

We decided to trick-or-treat in a new area that we have heard about for years called, "Pumpkin Alley." I now officially realize why this place is so highly talked about. I felt as if I was in a scene of Hocus Pocus. We will be back each year possible from now on. 

We ended up finding our Prince Charming while out walking the streets. But after hearing "is your costume" real or fake 5 million times, we decided that our night of trick or treating was ready to end. 

Cinderella discarded her shoes and we decided to head off to the next ball of family events. Which included tons of food and family time, before we headed home wayyy before the clock even struck  midnight. 

Now we are full blown Thanksgiving mode, and are all about respecting the turkey {and deer season} before the Christmas spirit arrives.