Friday, February 12, 2016

10 Things I Want My Daughter To know.

Ten years ago, I was a very young pregnant woman at only the age of 18. I was single, and literally had no idea what life was about to offer me. What I found through becoming a Mother, wasn't just a new life but a new meaning. This baby was my saving grace, the new path that was the Lords hand in guidance away from destruction. When I look into her blue eyes, it almost baffles me that we have spent nearly a decade together. Becoming a Mother changes you, but being a Mother to a girl brings an entire new meaning.

As my daughter starts to prepare fabulously for her tenth birthday, I cannot help but wonder where the years have flown by. My heart is stuck seeing the little girl in her smoked dress and bow to match. That image will be what I forever see as I think of my little girl.

As she is growing older there are life lessons I would love to prepare her for. Although, some come naturally and will just be a wound to heal as it happens. I want to share things that I want and need her to know before she is another year older. 

1.) We can be friends, but at the end of the day I am your Mother. I will always be here for you. I can only pray that we can talk about what's on your heart as you grow older. Although, if your in a position of wrong doing or swaying toward a path of darkness, I am here to stir you correctly. My number one job in this life is to keep you safe. In doing so, I will have to be Mom first and always. 

2.) You don't have to be friends with everyone. It's true, you really don't have to be friends with all of your classmates. But you must be nice to everyone. We are here in this overwhelmingly large world to shine His light. By doing so, you will make friends and enemies, and that is okay. 

3.) Being young is okay. You have the biggest heart of any child that I've ever met. If you want to pretend you are a horse. Do so. Gallop, neigh, run those pretend barrels as much as you wish. The fun and imagination in playing wears off too quickly. Listen to the beat of your own drum, be unique, but most of all just be you. 

4.) Reading is important. Wether it's your devotional, school work or library book , it is a must that we keep our mind moving. I honestly do not love to read but I can always find a moment where I find myself lost in pages of a book. 

5.) Follow your heart. The days in church families our filled with children asking the Lord into hearts at such young ages. Although, I do not know their hearts and could never say if I agree or disagree with this. I want your heart to be set on the Lord. Never take on a responsibility for your enternity until you know how your heart truly feels. Follow your heart and seek the Lord.

6.) Dream. You call me a "dreamer" every chance that you get. But what fun would the world be, if we ever stop dreaming? My heart is full of things I want to see, bucket lists I want to accomplish and even if it may not happen, I will always strive to check each item off. Dream on... 

7.) Live in the moment. We are given one life to live to the fullest. Our society has become one so focused on phone, Internet and even the blogs that I spent time wasting away on. Although, I may not be leading by example very well, I want you to know its okay. It's simply okay to put your phone down, to cherish memories in your heart rather than storage. When you do get a cell phone in ten more years, look up from it smile and take in every moment. 
While you are very technology innocent at this age, I just want you to know its okay to not worry. As females, we tend to over worry and have old souls that want to change the world. It isn't possible. We cannot change everything, and as the good book states, worrying will only take the joys from tomorrow. 

8.) Your friends are going to change. You will not stay friends with the same people forever. I know this is hard and you're probably not going to believe me. But life changes people. Sometimes we take the paths that are more troubled, others take paths that are just simply busy. You will bond with new girls over the next few years, and that is okay. As long as you remember just how each person touched your life and the memories you made is all that counts. No matter if middle school takes you elsewhere from your best friend at this very moment, I can promise both of you will never forget the time you caught a baby bunny together and begged me to keep it. As much as I long to reconnect to my absolute "best friend of all times" I will never stop laughing at the times we had together. Cherish each friendship, and if they don't last be sure to help them remember that if you ever reconnect you can pick up your friendship exactly where you left it. 

8.) We are going to change. You will soon stop seeing me as the greatest thing since Flicka. I will become the overly nosy, prying into your business "un-cool" Mom. I promise you this isn't all because your Dad is a police officer, and I have this small desire to be a detective but because we love you. 
It's going to be agonizing for you to realize this, and see our reasonings in being too protective. I can just only hope that you understand better than I did. My Mom spent a lot of nights with a broken heart due to a disrespectful child, that didn't realize the love my parents were sharing. When we ask questions, it's for your safety. If we ask who is around, it's so we know incase of emergencies. We will never pry for our own self worth. Our hearts and number one priority is to keep you and your brother safe. In saying that, I pray you will always understand that we will do this at all costs. 

10.) Love. It practically makes me pyshically ill knowing that you will one day have a crush on a boy. A crush that is even more important to you than the time your face turned red every time that certain bull fighter would come around, when you were only four. 
One day you are going to have your heart broken. You may even break a few hearts too. But in all of my years of loving, I learned that the most important rule to follow is that you can never love someone until you love yourself. With loving yourself, also comes with the full responsibility of loving the Lord. Once we know our heart, and are able to accept Him into our own, a boy will never be able to get to you without loving Him first.
Thankfully, with a heart of grace and emotion I will fully be okay with the day that I find you tear burried in a pillow. It will be hard, no matter what. But when you love yourself enough to know that you deserve better, God will provide. 
I chased too many mistakes in my years because I didn't love myself enough. I didn't believe that I deserved better and I didn't trust in Him to provide. Once I realized that my worth was more than I could ever imagine, I slowly began loving myself again. My heartache became content, and I felt new again. You are special and more unique than you could ever image. Your heart of gold could literally take over Mount Rushmore to shine to the entire world. It's just so simply stated that you must love yourself. You are worth it and I will always be here to remind you of that. 

There is more that I would love to tell you. Or words that I feel that I should remind you of. Like how to show grace and mercy. Or how we should always live within the moment. That we should always have a heart of gratitude. But you my sweet daughter with the soul an wise elderly women, you practically have this life figured out more than I. 

I hope that this next decade brings happiness, and memories worth making. I cannot wait to do what we do best, party. It pray it's one for the books, and one that helps you remember how truly special you are to us. 

Thank you for giving me a new life and meaning. You are more special than you know, never forget that. 

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Story of Mommy

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I am a sinner saved by the grace of God. A wife to the 5oh, and Mother to Charli Beth and Bryar. This is my story of Motherhood, life experiences and sometimes even my overwhelming heart all typed out. I believe in second chances, yet the firm hand of parenting. That sweet tea is of the comfort food category. Chickens belong in every backyard. Children should each have a responsibility of their own while helping take care of duties in the home. Sports are a must for our family, and we spend many nights on courts or fields. We consistently feel new to each of the experiences that are brought into our lives. But we are always excited for the journey in which God has given us.

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